Wednesday, March 31, 2004

"What is Love?"
by Salvador Gabor


This may be one of the most asked question besides, "whats the meaning of life?". What IS love? Many times, we get caught up in what television, peers and trends tell us about love. Television changes, your peer groups change and the trends of this world most definitely change. But love doesnt. Love is a gift given and not received. When you truly love you dont see the reward or the return on your investment. OTHER people see the return on the investment of love you have sewn.

Often times, people feel that they are hurt by love. I wouldn't say love hurt you. I would say that your expectations hurt you. I would say that a person hurt you. But I would never say love did it. See, love isnt hard. For guys, love should be like a behind the back pass. For gals, love should be like cornrowing someone's head while not even paying attention. That may sound corny but in so many words...........love is second nature. It comes easier than we make it to be.

See, the best example of love is with a child. If you and your mate are expecting a child, you KNOW things wont always be great. That child isnt born yet, but you know once and while that baby will be sick. Once in a while, that child will be in trouble. Once in a while and more times that not, that child wont appreciate ANYTHING you are doing on their behalf for years to come. YET, with all that being said, you still plan for 9 months to bring this child into the world. You dont hold a grudge when your 18-year old son doesnt call you from his dorm 10 hours away. You're at home wondering where he is and he's having a good time. He doesnt call because he's having the time of his life. You send money, he spends money. You send food, he eats food. You pay for the light bill, he cuts lights on. When its all said and done he doesnt know the emptiness that you have without him. But YET, you still love.

So many people are hurting because they didnt get out of a relationship what they wanted. There's your problem. You dont go into it looking to get something out of it. The last thing I want to say is that I picked my wife because "she does for me". You love because YOU feel a need to share with someone the overflow of love you have within. If no love is within and you're looking for it in someone else, you wont get it. No matter if you are getting back what you feel is deserved, you keep loving. If you feel a need to pull back, then do so. Dont be a fool. Just dont take it to heart. Humans do humanily things in human situations. Love yourself. Treat yourself like a King/Queen. Never be hurt because some person doesn't feel a certain way about you. If you truly love yourself, you will see that YOU are the person that matters. If you are looking for love, look within.

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"


And now since we are all looking for love.............


"Personals"
by Salvador Gabor

I know that many of us wonder where to look for love. Is it at church? Is it at the club? Is it at the grocery store? No need to look any further. We here at the Salvador Gabor Project are dedicated to finding you love. Ladies, sit back and relax as we present to you today's top bachelor.............



Jeremy Turnell Riggins

Jeremy is a 21 year old Scorpio from Cleveland, Ohio. Raised by his grandparents, Deacon and Mrs. Riggins in Cleveland, Jeremy is a man of spiritual values and morals. He is a junior usher at the Upper Eastern Baptist Church of Cleveland where he specializes in collecting offering and he leads the usher march on communion sunday.


Interests: Hand Dancing, Playing with Action Figures, and participating in friendly games of "Freeze Tag"

Organizations: Member of the Khaki and Gold Chain Club. Fifteen Year Member of the "Bell, Biv, Devoe" Fan Club.

What he likes in a woman: Dolphin earrings, French rolls and a decent job at Burger King. But she cant work the lat shift.

Car: 1983 Delta 88 on 12 inch rims with a Kenwood System


For More info on Jeremy you can page him at 1(800) 496-8823. If you look good put "311" in as your code. If he returns your call from a strange number, dont worry, he is at the phone booth over on MLK.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

"1 Year Anniversary"
By Salvador Gabor

Today is Jerome's One-year anniversary on his site. I want to extend my most sincere thanks to him for letting me write over there during the end of 2003. Rome and I have talked several times about the future and we both have ideas about making our dreams a reality. We play alot on this site but this is something that we enjoy doing. So Rome......congrats.




Now back to our regularly scheduled ignorance..............


"A Nigga for All-Time"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

Today we morn the passing of a phenomenal man, an institution on the DC Dodgeball Scene. Duke "Otter" Reid departed from this place yesterday at 7:53 am. Duke the mentor of Jimmithy Lancaster, superstar of the Metropolitan Dodgeball Association, touched the lives of many in his 47 yrs. He was a coach to over 200, and a mentor to many. His innovative ways of coaching football and basketball forced him into Dodgeball as a youth. His barber Leslie "Curley" Bowers, remembers Duke's last game "ole Duke is cussing the referee something terrible, I mean he is letting him have it, and the ref knocks Duke's hat off, boy they got to fighting, and he hit the ref and made him Dook on heeemself, spilled my cream soda right there" Duke was a tenacious competor and coached with an iron-fist. He had a soft spot for one pudgy fellow, who could move like water on a whale. Jimmithy Lancaster remembers Duke's famous iced tea, "man it was like Project Potion, helped me play some of best games, man I'm gonna miss my man, miss you old dude" Duke an avid musician during his dodgeballic hours. A member of the Dippers, a famous Funkband originated down Trinidad. The Dippers will be sanging "Wet One for Me", "The Blue Room", "The Cremate Tray", and "On the Loveboat" at the After-Re (party after the repass). Ms. Luelle will be serving mashed potatoes, fried chicken, and turnip greens, for any changes to the menu, check www.ebonyrepass.com it will update you on this repass and many others. www.ebonyobituaries.com presented this picture of Duke who was seen here in his basement studio over on Trinidad.

Monday, March 29, 2004

Sal's Corner
"Names Vol. 3"



As some of our longtime readers know, I wrote 2 articles on Rome's site about Names. One being for male names and the other for female names. Now I am taking it deeper. Let's talk about Last Names! Not just any last names but last names that can be used to call someone. Last names that make you call that person by there last name.

* Fletcher- Oh yes, Fletcher's NO MATTER WHAT CITY, live in the hood. They could very well be well off financially but aint nothing like being hood rich in the inner city of Detroit! Ole Fletcher has a regular job. He probably shakes off his co-workers and makes them mad cause he does his work on HIS time and pace

* Robinson- Robinson stands out at his job. He either does a great job or a very BAD job. People only call him at loud tones. You always use your "Outside Voice" when dealing with Robinson (Check for Reggie real soon with an article on the "Outside Voice")

* Briscoe - I know or know of about 3 or 4 Briscoe's. Most Briscoe's are called by FIRST AND LAST NAME. You have to. It just sounds good.

* Cunningham- This may be one of the strongest last names to have. Especially as a black person. Even a lady will be called by her last name if it is Cunningham. Thats why you cant have too many Cunningham's in one setting. It leads to alot of confusion.

* Porter - Porter does work for you. Whether it is mechanical, plumbing or some sort of handy work. Most men who work in uniforms dont ever have the correct name on their badge. Porters ALWAYS do.

* Patterson - Patterson might be a deacon at your church. If it's a woman, she probably is a nice looking older woman. The Patterson's only drive Cadillacs

* Wiggins - Wiggins may be a "Coon". Wiggins sometimes is the kinda guy that kisses up to any and everybody. Women who are born in the Wiggins' family hope to marry as soon as possible.

* Taylor - Taylor works in a uniform type of job like "Porter" but he keeps himself clean. Taylor is that busdriver or police officer that does no work. He might just rap to the ladies all day.

* McDaniel - Most people call this person "McDaniels". I still havent figured out why the "S" is added on??????

* Carter- Carter is full of it. Most people see Carter coming and say "That OLE Carter". Carter makes you mad! He really does. He always uses up ALL his leave on the job or takes the longest time to get back to the house wit your McDonalds. He the type that will go to McDonalds, get your food, then go to the carryout but aint ordered his food yet.

"Lord Willin, Rome Feelin".


"Action Words vs. Adventure Words"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.


Action Words and Adventure Words, well it's kind of like when you learned verbs for the first time, but way worse. Running, writing, riding, and words like that take on a whole nother meaning. Put your pens down, this is an open-mind exercise.

Action Words: Action Words require a certain action, either self-induced or one imposed upon another.

Cuss: "Dont you cuss me" oh yes this means somebody has told off an older person. This is usually used in front of company. It has no gender. In it's female form, the woman usually proceeds to tell the man off, in front of her and/or his friends. In the male form, the man might go take a walk, and come back and give ole Eleanor a good-shake.

Hyche: pronounced "hush", "Hyche your mouth". Another word with age, used to cease noise immegiately.

Run: "Run me my numbers" This form of the word run requires that you get down to the liquor store and play them numbers before 12, nobody wants to miss the daily Pick 3.


Adventure Words: Now Adventure Words dont necessarily have to be verbs, they are just words that take you somewhere else, on an adventure.

Heeem: pronounced him, "Can I tell heem, You better tell heeem" That heeem takes you a variety of places, maybe to Carolina or Georgia, it might just put you on your back porch, and Ms. Rawlins grandboy Tim aint in the house. "Tim aint here, can I tell heeeem, you lookin for heeem"

Tisn't: most serious form of "isn't, is not": A serious word to say the least, and is always said slowly, in order to specifically understand that Gary aint there, and he might not be there, when he gets there, and if he comes in there his aunt is gonna let heeeem know something. "Gary tisn't in". When a statement like that is made, you won't be leaving a message, so don't try because Aunt Doris will be hanging up on you in mid-sentence.

Tousch him: pronounced touch heeem: This one might take you to church. Sitting with the Young Adult Choir, or the Jr. Usher Board, and Marcus done fell asleep next to you. "Tousch him, wake that boy up". You could also wind up on the bus, "...is this your piece of paper".

Tonic: A wild word to say the least. This might have you down the country in your Aunt's bedroom.. "Don't knock that epsom-tonic over, matter of fact hand it to me" It might have you outside walking past the porch where the old men hang out.."That boy had the tonic, yes he did". Last but not least tonic might have you in a basement with your father, playing cards, Tonic goes unsaid, but you see it several times poured into that drankin glass, you know that plastic bottle with the yellow label.

Oh it aint over, just didn't want to overwhelm you. You cant learn your timestables in a day, so let it digest. This stove is always hot. I'm just a nigga in a seatbelt.

Friday, March 26, 2004

"Go with your Gut"
by Salvador Gabor



"Go with your Gut". It's often said but not understood. Going with the "GUT" feeling is considered the best resolution to a DEEP pondering of a question and/or choice. You go with your "GUT" when you really need a breakthrough. You go with your "GUT" when you really know that THIS MAYBE YOUR LAST SHOT. The "GUT" is all or nothing. No "GUTS" No Glory.

So why is the "GUT" so important. The "GUT" is that ugliness inside of you that says "Im gonna make, and I dont care HOW". People often ask "Do you have the GUTS to do it?" People say "Do you have the GUTS to make it?" So I ask you, do you have the GUTS? Maybe not??? Who knows. Only YOU know.

So what is a "GUT"? Literally a "GUT" is considered an imperfection of the physical body. You see "GUTS" everyday. "GUTS" are at the bar, "GUTS" are at the liquor store, "GUT" walked PASS the gym, "GUTS" are at the buffet on a WEEKDAY, "GUTS" are probably feeding themselves and/or eating while reading this. But truthfully its the people with "GUTS" that make it. The pretty people are full of fear. SCARY people. You dont rely on a pretty person in the time of need. It's either too gewey, too dirty, too heavy, too dusty or too dark, wet and slimy for a pretty person. Always go with your "GUT". If you dont have a "GUT", you dont make it. Pretty people are the figureheads, people with "GUTS" are the ones who lead this world. See pretty people find a way to "FIT" into the world. People with "GUTS" make space. Whether its letting out that thread space in the back of your slacks for more room, or finding the right girdle, the people with "GUTS" make it happen.

What to do when you dont have "GUTS"? Stick with that assigned nigga that has "GUTS". Keep a nasty, ugly down right piggly nigga wit GUTS. A group of pretty people cant make it with no "GUTS". Thats why when you go out, the sexy groups of women keep a lady with "GUTS". She aint afraid to tell a nigga off if he's outta line. She's not getting no play, so just cursing a man out is enough play for her with the opposite sex.

People with "GUTS" dont like to be seen on the scene. FOR WHAT???? People with "GUTS" are not for showing off. Their work does the talking. People with "GUTS" dont get the TV interviews, they just give a pretty nigga the script to answer all the questions. "Nigga I dont care what you say to the Camera, just give me the number to that place where you got that Fish Dinner". You probably never spoke to the nigga with "GUTS". Never even stopped to ask him of his name??? But you gonna call eeeemm. Yes you will.........

See........People with the "GUTS" stay in and work through lunch while you go out cause you wanna check out the honies. People with the "GUTS" stay at work late doing their job AND YOUR Job because you was rushing out on a Wednesday to go to a happy hour. People with the "GUTS" got up at 5:00 A.M. JUST to pray for you EVEN before you woke up at 11:30 for 11:00 Service. People with the "GUTS" fix your cars, mow your lawns, clean your clothes, make up your beds at the Days Inn, and work at Waffle Houses BY THEMSELVES on a late night shift. It aint easy or pretty having "GUTS" after all now is it?

BUT.....People with "GUTS" are sexy. When I grow up I wanna be that old man with the nylon sweatsuit and full of "GUTS". Im gonna make my "GUTS" work for me. Im gonna have nice clothes on and drive a shiny SUV. "Tony Soprano" is a man of true "GUTS". He makes having "GUTS" look good. "GUTS" make other people know when you say "Let's go out for dinner", they know you do some fine dining and you probably dont mine covering the bill. Know why........Cause you for the "GUTS" to cover the order.

Caution: Women, you dont really need "GUTS", thats why you marry guys like me. You go ahead and "FIT" into the world and let me make MY space. Oh yeah, I wanna extra pork chop on top of that fried rice if you would be so kind.........'Preciate YA!


Gang Activity
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.


Turf wars often lead in the news. Talk of rival gangs killing one another, and shooting innocent bystandards often clutters the airways, and locker-side conversations. Whether it is the 1-5 Amigos or Dem Niggas down 1st, there is always gang-activity.

With any factions you often encounter the rivalry factor. There are certain groups that just dont get along. Things may cool off but they are bound to be at one another's throats. Cowboys-Redskins, Red Sox-Yankees, Barry Farms-Sursum Cordas, the list goes on and on. Even as people get older certain rivalries are inherited, you might not be apart of them from the start but if you are a bike messenger you will grow to dislike mailmen.

More hated than the Hatfields and the McCoys, the Messenger-Mailman rivalry began back in the 70's. It all began at Humphrey's Messengery back in 1971. The beef stemmed when long-time Messengerman Paul Lawrence Duvall left Humphreys for a job with the Post Office. His buddy of more than 26 yrs, the late-great Messenger-Extraordinaire (the highest title of any non-Pony Express Messenger) Donald Lomax was furious with Duvall. Lomax felt as though he was turning his back on the brotherhood. Duvall was just trying to make a way for himself and his family.

Nonetheless, Lomax had a bone to pick with that nigga. "Just gonna get uppity, and take a job with the 'birds', just because they letting niggas in" said Lomax in response to the Post Office hiring blacks in large numbers. "Mr. Humphrey is 67yrs old and still delivers on the bike, but that aint good enuff for ya, niggas always wanna fly. You fly right" Lomax said as Duvall drove down the street in his mail truck. Duvall still a messengerman at heart, would not let his pride get the best of him, but there were just certain things a nigga couldnt say. Challenging his loyalty was one of them. Duvall parked that truck and walked over to Lomax and put his kickstand down, a tell-tell sign that somebody was bout to get dirty.

The two men stood toe to toe, towel to bandanam, right in front of Humphrey's, which was diagonally across from the MLK Post Office Pavilion. A small crowd gathered and the two began to rumble. Duvall pulled Lomax's bandana down over his eyes and started rabbit-punching him for all those snyde remarks. Lomax suplexed (body-slammed for the wrestlingly challenged) Duvall and the 2 had at it for bout 15 minutes of good Dukes of Hazzard style fighting. The two left scuffed and scarred and angry as two cats in a well. The 2 never renewed their friendship after the scrum, nor did they renew their wrastling vows. But it was understood, that Mailmen werent sellouts, and might be crazy 4sho.

So if you are ever downtown and a Bike Messenger and a Mailman cross paths, be sure to listen for profanity because there will be some. The mailman may even invite the messenger aboard his truck, but know this, Mailmen and Messengers are like fire and ice, coke and slice, if you have one the other need not suffice, deliveries can be done by 3 or by 1, but no need in forcing gorilla tactics on a mail run. Stand clear like a deer with headlights very near, for mailmen and messengers are like MC Ren with Dillingers aimed at lively-one.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Interview with John "Cutter John" Sykes
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.
(Assisted and Narrated by Salvador Gabor)

I gotta chance to sit down with a great yardsman in the D.C. Area. John "Cutter John" Sykes developed his grass cutting skills in the Northeast D.C. Area. A lifelong citizen of the Riggs Park area, "Cutter John" loves his "hood" and likes it to look nice and well kept. I gotta chance to sit outside and chat on the porch at "Cutter John"'s mother's house on Chillum Place in N.E.


SG: John How are you?

Cutter: aw man i'm real good business is bout to boom!

SG: I see your hands are a lil dirty already there Mr. Sykes!

Cutter: please dont call me Mr. Sykes, "Cutter-John" is what my clients call me....but yeah i was down in Ms. Lewis' flowerbed this morning. Look here take a bidness card, you can reach me at the number on the back, in the highlighter. Spelled my name wrong though, they got Stokes on there.
My nephew made them......Boy only 3

SG: So how did you get into landscaping?

Cutter: oh man I got started long time ago.......I remember it like it was yesterday I got detention at Backus JHS over on South Dakota Ave. Got caught peeing on the radiator. So Mrs. Lewis, the principal, had me cut that big ole patch of grass next to Backus and all the grass across the street. Yep thats the same Mrs. Lewis whose flowerbed I work in now! I figure I wont charge since she helped me get started

SG: What is it about the landscaping industry that kept you in the game?

Cutter: aw man well you know in Riggs, there are alot of senior citizens, and they need their landscaped. So i scape it for them, for a small fee. Ya know, just enuff to keep me afloat. hmmmm
I remember back in 85 LawnDoctor tried to drive me out......hey man hold still you got a "skito" on your lapel, lemme get this OFF I made....here it is (squirt) (squirt)

SG: Thanks Cutter. That almost got on my Gartelle Button-Up

Cutter: Ya notice that lemon-lime scent? That's my own trademark. Oh yeah and the name's CutterJohn to you.

SG: Alot of the younger guys embrace you around the Riggs Park neighborhood, how do you respond?

Cutter: (pulling out shower cap) man you got to love that which loves you. If you dont, you have love lost. That is why I take such pride in scaping. Whether it is Mrs. Lewis' yard (putting on shower cap, and tightening laces on Asics) or the Widow Watkins-Dean. I just gotta sculp the lawn, hone my skill, perfect it, because it symbolizes the Riggs section........(waives to neighbor) Hey there Mr. Randolph, be there by 4:50!!!!.......Dont worry i'll fill that birdbath too. Mmmmhhmm. I like to put a lil cinammon in Mr. Randolphs birdbath, keeps the robins nice and red

SG: How do you gain clientele?

Cutter: Well..... you know everybody around here pretty much knows me you know i grew up around here, right back there on Chillum they see me all the time, I like to take walks down to Jaybird's all the way down the other end of Lasalle Elementary. Kinda hard to miss me in my attire
i like to match my head gear with my tennie's. Gotta stay professional

SG: What other interests do you have?

Cutter: Well I do enjoy a nice game of badmitton after I have groomed a lawn. Then take in a lil Smackdown, once i get cleaned up. Ya know......watch a lil wrasslin

SG: Married? Any Children?

Cutter: Naw, single just like my weedwacker. Just out getting a lil cut-up and taking it on in

SG: Is there a life for Cutter John outside of "Scapin'"

Cutter: Oh man you cant be limited to just one thing. I got 2 lemon trees in the back. also got some throwback Carrol HS jerseys. Been selling these Clement Stokes' for bout $250 since November. Old clement went on to Notre Dame too. But to answer ya question.....got to be diversatile

SG: was there ever a person you modeled your work after

Cutter: Well there was one man, they called him "Toots", lived Uptown on 7th and Jefferson, used to edge yards with scissors. Man was he precise!!!! i must say I took my wall edging style from him
But other than that, this here (extending arms from Lasalle to Newtown) is all me!!!!!!!!....................hey man i gotta run, i'm 5mins late for Mr. Randolph. Hey Mr. Randolph got some of those lemon cookies when I get done!!!!!!!!!

SG: Any last words Cutter John?

Cutter: Cut grass.... dont smoke it. Hey you heard this cut? My young man down the street played it for me (plays UGK's "Choppin Blades") I wanna Chop Blades....... Looka Ya! I said yeah buddy........that is CutterJohns joant right dere. Gotta go, he gets that back yard for free if I am five minutes late!!!!!


If you want to call on Cutter John for a landscaping job, he's always out and about in the Riggs Neighborhood in Northeast D.C.. Just look for the middle-aged man wit the shopping cart full of grass-cutting materials, a khaki suits and some old Asics that his incarcerated nephew used to wear.




Indestructible Niggas
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.


There are some niggas you just cant kill. Today we focus on one, a buddy of mines, named Procrastination. I call him "Cras" for short. He is the type of nigga that has been with you for years and years, just hanging around. Don't get me wrong he aint all bad, he aint just on the corner, the dude has a degree.

Nobody knows for sure when the nigga was born, probablly the reason this holiday is celebrated on the 10th and not the 9th. Just wanted to wait in the womb, because that anesthesia had a lil nigga woosy. He is often seen pulling all-nighters to finish papers, and meets you at the let-out instead of going to the party.

Cras lives by intricate financial policies, he would rather wait and see if something goes on sale, than buy it prematurely. A very laid back individual to say the least, nothing really gets to Cras, doesnt start worrying til the 25th hour, but then again, he aint never late, just close enuff to make you wonder with wet armpits.

Cras is the type of guy that will even save your life, he aint in no hurry so while the hotheads are pressed to get fly for some honies, ole Cras is just laying in wait, more than likely let-out bound. Just in time to miss the fights, shootings, but early enuff to find a tender or three. "Dont mind me, I'm Cras, not Rude his car is burgundy".

Cras is known to hang with the big-wigs. All up in Congress fooling with the Senate, why you think it takes so long to pass good laws. Ted Kennedy invited Cras over for dranks. Cras is the reason we get gift-cards, malls get way too crowded and everything is gone by the time Cras picks you up to go shopping. He often keeps many brothas sober, Cras aint ready to drink unless it is past 9pm, but then again, you know the nigga dont live to far from Bass Liquors.

Cras is the type of nigga you might not see for a while, rumors circulate, about no more Procrastination. I dont fool with the guy anymore, sure you dont, that nigga comes over late at night have you girls trying to pay that light bill online, because he kept you in all night and the next day and you couldnt get any stamps. Dont trip Cras is still alive, seen him go 2-3 months without a peep, but always shows up if not on the first but definitely by the 15th.

Procrastination is a well-known figure in the Black Community. When he is at the clubs and cookouts, niggas from miles around are heard calling him by his nickname "Hey, get it Later"

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

"Negresscent Holiday"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr
.

Many times people get caught up in these heritage-based holidays, and dont care to share the meaning or the enjoyment of the day with anyone else. Well today I'm gonna let you know about St. Pernell's Day, the Friday after St. Patrick's Day.

St. Pernell's Day was started by in 1974, somewhere in Inglewood. You see Pernell ran a "speak-easy" out of his basement. Pernell Pike, or "PP" as he was known to his good buddies, had been a nigga in the neighborhood for years, selling anything he could get his mits on. From bootleg wine to gold fronts, to cable-ready tv's. Pernell was a nigga on the under for sure.

The day after St. Patrick's Day in '74, Pernell and his drankin potnas, were a lil rippled from watching the SWAC tournament via satelite. Just then Big Earl said something about a St. Patricks Day party. Pernell muttered "Patrick who, that nigga owes me 43 dollars for those cartons of squares, he aint no saint" mind you they had been drinking since 11:30 in the morning. "I'm a saint, man I let the nigga have 'em and that was last Thursday, you know I'm funny about my moneys. Man it's St. Pernell's Day, drinks on the house, since I'm being so nice, he Tilda make me a fish sammich, use that croaker"

From then on St. Pernell would always get real drunk around the SWAC tourney and do something nice, a true neighborhood saint. St. Pernell Pike.

I also have Mammagrams 1 for 2, and 2 for 5 down behind the Footlocker at Iverson Mall, part of the St. Pernells Day sale.


"Things you say to your Woman"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.


* Our love is like oatmeal on a cold day, hot and thick....It will stick to u ribs.

* Our love is like a pipehead with a freshly opened twenty sack......smokin!

* Our love is like a warm beer in the summer, u can smell it from deep, and it still tastes good when it
hits your lips.

*Our love is like a dark alley, the sight the smell and all those good things going on.

* Hey baby that aint your toothbrush.



Announcements
by Salvador Gabor



* There will be a Bus Trip to go shopping at the Morton's on Minnesota Avenue. Morton's provides the finest in clothing. Attire such as Corniche Two-toned jeans, Green Sport Coats and also a selection of leather outfits and hats. We havent received alot if info yet but you can also call the Salvador Gabor Project Info Hotline at (301) 455-3534

* Lester "Funky" Foote took home the prize last night over on Kenilworth Ave at the nightly dice game. He came to the game with $3 and left with $1,500. "Funky" Foote plans to but an '88 Cutlass with the money he made.

* For all Prom Dresses go to totalsportinc.com . They will provide your daughter, sister, and or girlfriend with the best LeBron James Jerseydresses in the business.

* A special birthday shout-out to Terrence Dernell McClarkey. Happy birthday T, may your Karate classes be filled with Black Belts, Black Eyes and Black Beautiful la-tees.

Monday, March 22, 2004

Sal's Corner
"Pretty Girls
"

Disclaimer: The phrase "Pretty Girls" maybe replaced with the phrase "Bad Joants" throughout this article. Some guys call females different things, I call em "joants" from time to time. Might refer to a female as "slim", dont get offended please its all in humor.

"Bad Joants".......Every dude wants "Bad Joants" and Every dude claims he GOT "Bad Joants". So I asked myself.....what is a "Bad Joant"? Let's talk about "Bad Joants". Who they are, how you can spot them and their tendencies. Now some of yall women are reading this article like "Im glad he finally talked about me!". Girl you know you aint cute!!! Sike naw moving along........

* You know she is a "Bad Joant" when you walk in a room with her and the females stop and look. Females are hard judges. They tryna find the slightest thing to down the next "joant". If one ankle is bigger than the other, they knocking her down a notch. So when a female just STOPS and is speechless at another "Joant", that "joant" is tough!

* Fellas you gotta "bad joant" when your mans and em tell another dude that you gotta "bad joant" and you bump into THAT dude in the street and he is like "Yeah I heard you got it poppin wit a winner!!!"

* She's a "bad joant" when you walk into a restaurant with her and alias dudes just start knodding their heads at you outta respect. In their minds its ONLY 3 things they can say.....1) How
did HE get HER? 2) How can I get HER? and/or 3) I RESPECT what he's doing up in here!

* "Bad Joants" drink alot of bottled water. Sit back and watch fellas, MOST "bad joants" drink bottled water throughout the day. Now see....I shouldnt have told the ladies this, cause some of yall ugly ones gonna be rushing home to pour some tap water into that Jelly Jar so you can be walking around the office like somebody think you cute.

* Just cause you get big "play" at work dont mean you are a "bad joant". If we see you enough, you may begin to look better and better.

* "Pretty Girls" keep it laid back. If it's a man that she likes, if he doesnt pursue, she is gonna chill. She KNOWS its another guy bound to come along and muster up the courage.

* Females, Im a tell yall another male secret. if you TRULY are a "bad joant" let me tell you......We be knowing yall names and whole info WAY before we are officially introduced to yall. We meet yall officially for the first time and have the nerve to be like "Oh ok so your name is Keisha? Nice to meet you Keisha. Where do you work?" The whole time you KNEW ALREADY that she is a data entry clerk down at the Department of Commerce, she make $15.75/hr, she drives a Maxima and her boyfriend is locked up on a Weapons Charge.


That's all my time for now. Im pretty sure there is gonna be a "Pretty Girls" pt. 2. Its almost certain! But for now... "Lord Willin, Rome Feelin". Before I forget please go and check out "Sweet Erin's Pepper Grill" in Ft. Washington, MD. The best selection of Cakes, Pies and Chocolates in the D.C. Area. We will have a full page ad for his store later in the week.





“Ahhh, it’s spring again, everybody knows it’s spring again”-Biz Markie
-By Gartrelle W. Sexton, Esq.


The Distinguished Gartelle W. Sexton, Esq. is back just in time. Yes folks, it’s that time of year again. Time to put away the sweaters and boots and break out the windbreakers. No more groups of women downtown standing in a circle trying to keep warm on a cigarette break. The smell of April showers, flowers, and bar-b-q ribs will soon fill the air. Cookouts and sundresses, pool parties and booty shorts. But remember to DUCK! The youngsters will be out again and you know how they been trying to kill each other all winter.

So ladies her are a few things to remember for changing of the seasons:

Go get a pedicure. Not now, but right now. Don’t wait until the last minute to get your feet did. Some of y’all have been letting your toes hibernate all winter. You gots to keep your foot game on point year round. Y’all gonna wanna wear the open toes and strappy sandals as soon as possible, so you gotta rehab your feet first. Nobody wants to see your feet if they look like you been digging oil pipeline tunnels with your feet over in Iraq.

If you still wear Reebok Princesses (or 5411’s depending on where you're from) that’s cool, but if they ain’t fresh, get ‘em outta here. Donate them things to the homeless. It’s bad enough you haven’t outgrown them, but if you gonna wear them, they can’t look like soggy bread.

Your nails. Now ladies, sometimes I like when it y’all wear them natural. No polish or nothing, as long as they are neat and clean. But if you are gonna get your nails done, keep it simple. French tips or a BASIC color. Period. There are no exceptions. No green or neon orange nails, no wild designs. No man wants a woman who looks like she had her fingers tye-dyed at summer camp.

Ladies, get rid of all animal print dresses. I know a lot of animals died at the Zoo this winter but all I can think of is Cheetos! when I see you.

If your shins look like people been putting out their cigarettes on them, wear pants.

Sheer anything is not acceptable in the workplace.

Those colorful Louis Vitton purses. Get rid of them. I hated them last summer and I will hate them again. Y'all spent $500 on an ugly purse that doesn't match anything except a box of Crayolas and you women are so fickle that they won't even be "in style" this spring/summer. They look like they were inspired by a fourth grade Lite Brite art project.

So ladies follow these rules and your spring and summer will get off to a great start. Now to each his own and most importantly you should always do you. You know that us brothers will be on our lunchbreak enjoying the view that is you, so when in doubt about your attire, remember, wearing something tight is always a good option, unless you have more girth than it's worth.


Fellas, don't think I forgot about you.

To all you brothers that wore Durango boots to work during the winter. Cease and desist. Put them John Wayne boots away, forever.

You have never been to China and you barely even go to Chinatown, so no more Chinese collared shirts in the '04. If Yao Ming doesn't wear them, why should you?

Sandals. This is a sensitve subject. Now personally, I don't do sandals. My feets gotta be fully surrounded at all times. I came up in the hood, and I did some running from the police in my day. Can't run from the bodines and lose a sandal. Go to jail wearing some sandals, it's gonna be a long night in 6D. Now a lotta brothers in the older generation prefer sandals when the weather gets warm. I can respect that. Just not my thing. But just like I told the ladies, get a pedicure. Yeah I said it fellas, if you gonna wear sandals get your feet taken care of. If you insist on showcasing your ugly feet, go with your lady to Lee's Nails and let Hyun Kim hook you up for $14.95. At minimum get put some cocoa butter or vaseline on you feet.

Short sleeved dress shirt and a tie, aka "The Medgar Evers" or "MP:The Counselor" look: This should not occur. You are not a Southern Baptist Minister in the Civil Rights Movement, this is not a good look for you, or anyone else for that matter. I understand its hot outside and you want to let your forearms breathe, but to say it point blank, this just ain't cool. Short sleeved dress shirts shouldn't even exist, much less be worn by a Black man. The only place you can even find a short sleeved dress shirt is at Zayres. Now when is the last time you seen a Zayres?

Linen. Now this a tricky one. I like linen. But your linen 'fits must MATCH. And brothers, unless you are in Trindad for Sinbad's Soul Festival, peach, yellow, and orange colored slack are unacceptable. Colorful linen belongs on your dining room table.

Now I'm all about supporting Black business. Shooters, Hobo, We R One, etc. is all good with me. I wear some of their stuff. But if you gonna wear the urban gear, NO MORE GLITTER shirts or headbands. Fellas, glitter is for pre-school arts and crafts, and that truck nosed stripper at the Skylark.

Let's take it down a notch on the throwbacks this summer. I know this won't happen cuz some of y'all couldn't afford an official throwback last summer and been saving up all winter for that 4XL Walt Frazier Kindergarten team throwback jersey. Throwbacks are so 106 & Park now. Kneegrows sure know how to take a fashion trend and over do it.

Wife beaters. Unless you at the pool or y'all opened the fire hyrant around the way, put a tee on over top your wife beater. I hate seeing kneegrows on the Metro with only a wife beater on, all sweaty and stankin. I never know if he just finished fighting or if he didn't finished getting dressed.

White tees are a staple for a hot spring/summer day. Invest. Holla @ Sallimo, he'll hook you up with some fresh white tees. One for $8, three for $24.

Fellas, step ya game up this spring. Comfort and class are the key words this year. They will take you very far and the ladies will treat you like a star. You'll get some comfort and some ___ if you get my meaning gentlemen.


This PSA was sponsored by B.A.M.M.A.S., the Bureau Against Making Malicious Attire Selections.

Friday, March 19, 2004

"From the Back"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

This position is often looked down upon by most of society. Many years ago this is the position that our people were used to. They got tired of having it from the back, and chose to do otherwise. Me personally I would rather give it to you from the back, but that is just me. It is thought that being in the back is a place for followers, and one can't lead from behind. Oh but you can, you can guide and steer it just the way you want to, definitely make an impression, you can very well control the situation from behind.

I never felt that one learns more from sitting up front in class determines your learning capabilty. A stereotype to say the least. If you could learn by absorbing, this nigga here would be a genius after riding that crowded train this morning. If that foreigner teaching your math class doesnt make sense from 25 feet, I definitely wont be able to translate that 'Ghanistan from 5 feet. It has been my pleasure to sit at the back of the class, and learn what I can From the Back.

I find it funny to let an unknowing person stereotype me, in most cases they are females. They do it, not knowing that I know that they have done it. They see me come in go immediately to the back, probablly toting just a notebook. Silly rabbits tricks are for pimps. Instructor gets to talking, a brother chimes in, next thing you know the instructor is talking to me. Nodding his head waiting for my approval after every key point. It's good to see control gained from the back, while everyone in front of you has to turn around to understand what is going on. The whole time, they just getting took from the back.


Interview with James "Bunkie" Diggs
by Salvador Gabor




James "Bunkie" Diggs was raised on the Southeast streets of Washington, D.C.. A pimp from birth, James was nicknamed "Bunkie" cause he bunked up with ALL the ladies! "Ladies Love Bunkie" is the phrase that was used in the early days of the bunkmaster we know as James Diggs. I gotta chance to sit down with "Bunkie".


SG: BUNKIE! What it is playa?

Bunkie: It aint easy mayne! I say it sho' aint easy boss playa!!!

SG: I know your time is very valuable but I wanted to talk with you for a second

Bunkie: Yeah man. my lil lady friend told me you were doing a website. She works down at the Department of Justice. I picked her up one day and she called me in the building. I was like "Baby, I dont wanna meet yo' co-workers. They see you wit a fine nigga like mineself and you might get fired". But all she really wanted was for me to see your site. It was good too!

SG: Thanks Bunkie!!!

Bunkie: Yeah man if you see that ole Ricardo Baker, tell that nigga, LET the DICE hit da FLO' mayne! Thats all he gots to do!

SG: So what are you doing with yourself these days?

Bunkie: Its what im doing to these la-dies big dog! Im turning they minds out. Im on the silver screen, the rest of these niggas is on 13 inch hand held TV's!!!! All Staticky! Im clear cut and its gonna cost ya $9.50 every time you come see me!

SG: I hear that. But I mean as far as an occupation. A job. A career. Any goals?

Bunkie: (slight laughter)........Didnt I say my woman works at the Department of Justice? I thought I did? SHE has the job. SHE has the occupation. SHE has the career. Im the one with the goals. She's just my goaltender. I tell her hold on to these ideas while I hold on to your monies. Dig if you will this picture............Imagine me, working a job. Getting paid every other week. Waking up everyday at 6:30 in the morning. Walking around in my Short-Sleeve dress shirt and a Polka-Dot tie. Can you imagine that?

SG: Yeah I can Bunkie.

Bunkie: Well keep on, cause a nigga like me is way too fly for that boxed in job. Niggas like that put the corners in squares!

SG: So you're telling me all you do is chase women?

Bunkie: Dogs chase Sal. DOGS CHASE SAL. I dont think you hear me........DOGS CHASE SAL. Im not a dog!! By no means, shape or form bossman!!! I pick em up like a groundball on smooth turf. My glove is my mouth. My throw is my mind. Once you fall for this glove, the throw is gonna get you out at first. Then when I pull out my bat..........its a home run. Then I tell her, "Baby here's some tabacco. You gonna need that nicotine!"

SG: Interesting. Very interesting. What kinda woman do you like

Bunkie: I used to like larger women. I figured a large woman had to eat. So she had to have money. I just couldnt deal wit dem no more. Plus I didnt like them black marks on they cheeks or that drooping over the elbows. But now Im into smaller women. Working women.

SG: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Bunkie: I might settle down. Go on and retire from this pimpin, gigalo'n and runnin around. I might have me a son or two. Who knows. I was thinking about starting me a clothing line. "Bunkie's Boutique"

SG: Sounds nice!

Bunkie: Yeah I've seen a few stores I liked..... Oaktree, Cavalier, Lim's even a few suits I've seen in Dillard's were nice. None of em would have a dime on "Bunkie's Boutique" though.

SG: Im glad to see you wanna go places.

Bunkie: Speaking of going places. Me and Lucrinda was supposed to go up to the Crab house on Eastern Ave. and get some clams and oysters...........Matter of fact she paging me now. Let me run over to this here payphone.

Thursday, March 18, 2004

"March Madness Selective Show"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.


It is well into March, and March Madness has begun. For those of you not quite aware of what I mean. March Madness beginning those warm days prior to spring springing. People start acting wild, and the characters come out, and character comes out. Some people seem to think that we characters care if they come out. Let's be selective with our March Madness, but not too selective. Selective traits are oftentimes needed to mentally get thru the day, but sometimes they are unecessary. Pull up a chair, get your fill and enjoy some of this Knowledge Pot-Liquor.

Selective Hearing: Now we all use this. You know when that homeless guy, with the wad of cash, is trying to get your attention. This is primetime for Selective Hearing. Or when that group of big girls thinks she is flirting, but is really harrassing a young brother, Selective Hearing should be used after the 2nd and or 3rd comment. Depending on whether or not they have been drinking, and how many there are, buffalo travel by the herd. However all these self-proclaimed divas, who think that just because they took Palottis since November they think they dont have to oblige a man asking for directions on the street. Not a time for Selective Hearing.

Selective Memory: The people in this bracket are funny. This is another tactic ployed by those self-proclaimed divas. Now self-proclaimed divas, dont always look good, and are often big lonely women who think they are part-time psychologists, relationship experts, poets, and all things refined. They like to see people in public places, and either not speak, or act like yall didnt cheat on Accounting Tests together. All that "oh hey, whats your name...dont I know you" yeah you knew my name real well when you thought I had that stolen test. Now selective memory in these situations is never really good, but there is a difference when a woman selective remembers a man for whatever reason: they used to be involved, he wanted to involve her, she wanted him to be involved, what have you. But when 2 women attempt to use selective memory with one another, it just makes for one big commotion of fake-laughing a bunch of "ok's", "I'll call you" and otherwise unecessary BS. This is usually followed by a profanity-filled statement or two. Just waive and keep it moving.

Selective Learning: This is usually a trait embraced by "suckers for love". Brothers who think if they keep giving her their money she will treat you differently, not a chance. Sisters who think if they take him back this one more time he will stop spending your money on that "white woman". Learn yourself something, if she just wants you for your money put her out in front of an ATM, and they will be happy together; send the brother to rehab or just drop him down Kennedy Street, there is plenty of "white womans" down there.

There is nothing wrong with being selective, but when you start acting selective that brings about falsified traits. Fortify your being with select choices and not selective selectiveness just for the sake selecting some new thing to get someone to select you. Select is somewhere between the direction and right before start, so before you play the game, make sure you got the right number. If you know how to play the game, you dont even need to use select.


"Auto Report"
by Salvador Gabor




Before the Cadillac EXT, there was the El Camino. The first EVER luxury pick-up of its kind. What other car do you know that can suffice the duty of taking out a date AND moving some bulk furniture at the same time?????? The El Camino is a 2-seater that is cozy enough for a couple yet sturdy enough for an old coach with ripped up plastic on it.

El Camino's are not seen alot on the street nowadays. People have become "too fancy" for this pickup-car. Yet with the resurgence of pickups being in fashion, the El Camino is bound to make a comeback. Priced at $1,300, this ride isnt a bad purchase. If you dont mind, scrolling across the radio dial and hearing the profanity from the CB walkie/talkie that comes standard in these vehicles, then this is the car for you. When you go outta town, who needs a hotel. Just lay you a spread out on the back and you got a nice sleep ahead of you.

For more info on El Camino's or cars of its kind, Contact Martin's Cars & Cognac. Located on 2200 Larchmont Ave. in Capitol Heights, MD. The number over there is (301) 782-4698. Ask for Aston or Remy.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

"Negresscent Sports"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

Today we take a look back at some champions of nigga's past. Jimmithy Lancaster a native Washingtonian grew up in Edgewood Terrace. He is a somewhat chubby fellow, his mother however insists he is "stout, robust, just a little husky". Despite his 5'10 260lb frame Jimmithy would become on of the finest Dodgeball Players to hit the City Circuit in some time.

Jimmithy was not blessed with the greatest throwing arm and he found himself unable to play end. End is the striking position one that most big guys play, in which the end attempts to hit scatmen with the
ball. However, unlike most big guys his age Jimmithy was ELUSIVE!

Jimmithy had more moves than Gale Sayers, and had more agility than a puma! He proved to be one tuff hombre in the 1996 season. Jimmithy was the lead scatman for his 12 and under team for Kingman Recreational Center. He declined offers to play for Turkey Thicket Rec. becasue they only wanted him as at End.

Jimmithy honed his skills in the doorways and halls of Edgewood! he would often dodge basketballs thrown at him by neighborhors to sharpen his tacitcs. He was a crafty nigga to say the least. He always wore medium jerseys to erase any doubt that he had been nooked (hit with the ball). He received several bad calls being so portly, his coach the legendary Duke "Otter" Reid advised him to be proud of his bigness and use it to his advantage.

One game versus the cross town rival Stanton Terrace Stallions. Jimmithy recorded a record 55 wouldas(woulda gotten hit had he not faked them out). Boy he extended many matches in his day, but this one lasted a record 15mins. 15mins for a 12-and-under Dodgeball game is unheard of. Adult matches often range from 10-12mins on average. That boy could move like a sneeze in the wind, like Magic on a fastbreak, like Duffy Rollark in a Brazilian foxhole......The nigga was good!

He was unseen, a freak nature at 12 yrs old, he jumped to semi-pro at age 13 and 275lbs, he gave these
18-24yr olds all they could handle. trying to nook him was like trying to catch a greased midget in August.
He went to the pros in 1999 at 298lbs, and has takenover. He is a perrenial starter for the Ivy City Running Rebels! Northeast hasnt seen a finer athlete. He's better than John Battle and Michael Tucker, today we celebrate a great one Jimmithy Lancaster, his legend grows with his appetite!



Business News
by Salvador Gabor


In the automobile industry, General Motors has run into a possible problem with some of their 2004 Models. There is a possibility of transmission failure in their full-size pickup trucks, SUV's and vans. The estimated number of vehicles affected by this failure is estimated to be around 8,000. GM has requested that dealers not sell or deliver more vehicles from their Willow Run Plant until each vehicle has been inspected. Although these precautions are being made, GM has reassured that the problem does not pose a safety issue.

The cause of the possible transmission failure is due to a faulty pump within the transmission system. These faulty pumps may prevent lubrication from reaching the overdrive gearset bearing. Although 8,000 is a rough estimate of the faulty vehicles, Spokeswoman Debbie Frank says that about 25,000 vehicles are at some risk. Some of the more popular vehicles on this list are the Yukon XL, GMC Surburban and the Sierra. These additional 17,000 vehicles in risk were in transit between assembly plants and dealers when the problem was discovered.

As a precautionary measure, GM automobile owners are being instructed to use the third gear instead of overdrive until their vehicle has been inspected. The inspection is free and can be done at a dealership service center. GM is also contacting vehicle owners and informing them via phone and letters. This situation should not be mistaken for a recall, because this is not a safety issue.

In other GM News, GM is recalling 93,572 Oldsmobile Aurora sedans. The Federal Gov't reported that fuel from these sedans can leak into the engine causing flames. 123 complaints have been filed to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. It has been reported that the fuel is leaking due to the degrading and cracking of the nylon tubing used in the fuel rail.



Tuesday, March 16, 2004

"A Ghetto Vet"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

Today's focus is on a nigga for sure. As a servant to his community and his country, Duffy Rollark embodies the the term "Ghetto Veteran". Rollark often refered to as "Sarge", leaving one to think he was a Sargeant in the Army, but he wears a Marines jacket with Lieutenant embroidered and "Rollark". However, it is known that Duffy fought in Vietnam at the Chateau Brióne in Vietnam circa '1974.

Sarge is a pillar of his community. He can be found strolling Minnesota Ave during the day, and patrolling it's alleyways at night. A Ghetto Vet in every sense of the word, Rollark, knew where all the "fox-holes", muddy-spots, and herbal terrain, spanning a 5-mile radius. It was a known alley-folklore that Sarge killed 5 Charlie's with his bear-hands while at the Chateau Brióne. It was also known that the nigga had been hit in the head prior to and during his stint in Vietnam.

Sarge continued his military tactics when he returned from Vietnam in '85. Now we know the war was well over by that time, but it is said that Sarge vacationed for a few years after it was all over. Rollark would often black his face to go and buy "medicine" for his chronic case of jungle. He once scared the 2-time Hustler of the Week (August '94, and May '96) Jermaine Cheaney, one Thursday evening. Rollark jumped out the bush and rolled over a parked car with his 12 gauge cradled, and kindly asked Cheaney for a 50-sack. Needless to say this left Cheaney a bit shellshocked, and was later quoted on Benning Road "man I thought it was the Abominable Nigga that killed them people up the Langston, man I liked to got teary-eyed".

Sarge once led a Re-con mission to Aquatic Gardens, because he overheard a buddy of his placing a carryout order to a friend's house on Quarles Street. Duffy Rollark went unseen in a snorkel, black face paint, and some cut-up jean shorts, toting his gauge down to Aquatic Gardens. A man of few words, Duffy was heard mumbling this in between Mayfair and Paradise.. "them gooks keep marchin tru my hood hoorah hoorah, them gooks keep marchin tru my hood, im gonna dance on their face and piss down they chimmney, is that you Colonel...." Duffy Rollark a Ghetto Vet.


Announcement: I (Reggie Dinkins, Jr) will be down Hooters today between 4:41 and 4:53 giving free mammagrams, no underwires allowed, all participants receive a cup of water upon my completion.



Commentary
by Salvador Gabor


I went to a few malls/shopping districts in the D.C. Area on Saturday. I went down to Georgetown, Pentagon City and Prince George's Mall. For all intents and purposes, these 3 shopping areas may attract the highest volume of shoppers in the D.C. Area. It's funny how during the rain, sleet, snow or sunshine we all go out and spend that money! Its not JUST a black thing either! EVERYONE was out. Suits, furniture, shoes......I mean whatever was being sold, people were buying it. I myself spent $100 in about 20 minutes. When I go shopping, I know what I want, get what I want and I get outta there!

But I began to think........all these stores, all these malls, all these things.......are at the palm of our hands, but what good are they? I saw a plasma TV for $19,500!!!!!!!! Believe me, this was the best TV I'd ever seen but $20 G's!!! I just wondered for a second, why are there no stock stores in the mall? Why are there no mutual funds stores in the mall? Why arent there any investment stores in the mall? I came up with an answer that I've known deep down for years but we all have to come to grips with........the things that are best for us will not be handed to us. They will not be clearly visible. The phrase "The Revolution will not be televised" became very clear to me in a mall on a saturday afternoon.

Going to the mall is cool. Having clothes and luxurious things are cool but that little $100 I spent could have gotten me some investments had I seen a Stocks & Bonds store in the mall before I got to the GAP. It's crazy where your money goes sometimes. I was in the barber shop and a guy said "It's getting to the point where when I walk out the house, Im GONNA spend $100". I was once told "If you break a $100 Bill, you might as well forget about that $100". The things we spend money on are just ridiculous. One minute the money is here and the next minute it is gone!

Let's talk about things not clearly being visible. Have you ever watched a commercial or had a friend in some system/pyramid, or got some pop up mail/spam about becoming an "overnight millionaire"? You ever wondered, "why does this person wanna show ME how to be a millionaire"? More than likely, its too good to be true. Honestly, you're not gonna find many people just out here willing to show you how to be financially free without a serious cost! Most people keep the good stuff to themselves. If your friend buys some new shoes that no one has ever seen before, he or she is NOT GONNA TELL YOU, so how does it look for a STRANGER to tell you how to be a MILLIONAIRE?!?!?! Go to a book store, the magazines about cars, women, music and fashion are in the front..........the investment books, books on health, spirituality, and better living are towards the back. Another example.......I know people who dont have jobs. Some of these people often ask me to "find them a job". And I look in the papers and other avenues that provide job searching but it comes down to one thing.......a closed mouth dont get fed. When you are hungry, you ask for food. You dont get someone else to ask for you. People like that dont last in this world. The same way you beg for change YOURSELF, you gotta look for a job YOURSELF. You dont ask another bum to collect change for you. The same way you sell drugs YOURSELF, you find a job YOURSELF. You dont stand outside with another guy and stand there while he sells your drugs. The same way you sit in the house all day and make an effort to do nothing, you gotta take that same effort and DO SOMETHING. Whatever you are doing wrong, you make an effort to do so. Take that energy and reverse it. But you gotta be able to think around just doing the obvious. Doing a job search JUST on the internet wont cut it baby! EVERYBODY goes on the net to job hunt, so you applying against thousands of people. You betta walk the streets, pick up a journal or local paper and go the alternate way!

The whole point of this matter is not to be drawn to the distractions. They are prevalent and at the palm of your hands. They are easily accessible and can easily keep you on the ground. Look beyond the obvious. No matter if its looking for a job, looking for a "come-up", or looking for a good way to spend $100. No one is gonna hand something to you and its not gonna fall in your lap.

Monday, March 15, 2004

Sal's Corner
"Africans"


First off, I am not a racist, prejudiced or any of those things. Im just the dude who tells it how YOU see it. But you either cant put it into words or you're scared to do so. But let me say that Africans are one of the funniest groups of people in the world. I love Africans. I love their style, flash and confidence. They are true black people. Not tainted with several races but true original blacks from Africa. I watch and observe them. Here are some of the things I have seen:

* Misconception: "Africans are smarter than everyone else". One word, Two syllables: HOGWASH! Let me tell you something. And this goes for any other foreign people who come to this land..........if you come across the world to be here, when you get here, you are not gonna be BS'n. All Africans arent smarter than us, they just left the dumb ones IN Africa. If I was African, and I had 2 sons, one was dumb and the other was smart, the SMART one could go to college in America but the dumb one would be at Timbuktu Community College! If you went to China, you wouldnt go over there to make $30,000/year. You can do that HERE!

* Attire: Africans are hit or miss people. Either they were NICE clothing. Such as Prada, Ralph Lauren, Lacoste, Ferragamo etc etc or they were Yellow Jeans and sandles. Aint too many "White-Tee" type people. If they are gonna get fly, THEY GET FLY, if not its "CROSS COLOURS" galore

* Hygiene: All Africans dont stink. NOPE, its just that the ones that do stink, they smell so bad that you think they all stink.

* Vehicle: Come on NOW! a 1986 560 SEL...........THATS ALL they are pushing. Yall know what im talking about...........do I gotta show yall!!!!


* Foul Language: Its is FUNNY to hear an African curse! Curse word of Choose: MUTHAF*&^%. They use that one very much so! Sometimes they say Nigga (Which is not a curse word) but its just funny when they say it. It comes out like (NEEGA!)

* UnderCover Africans: Yaaah yall thought I aint know. Some of yall are African and dont lead on to it. No accent or nothing. Name might even be regular. But when your parents come up to the school with that short sleeve party shirt, green slacks and them extra shiny gold watches we KNOW. Only Africans and Pimps on their days off dress like that.

* Jewelry. Look for the GOLD. Niggas wear platinum, Africans wear gold! Always remember that.

* Confidence: Africans display a serious amount of confidence. Go to the DMV. You and your buddy are scared you wont get your license renewed cause you might have tickets owed. But that fella over there in the Kente cloth, HE's determined to be in and out in 15 minutes. He dont even stand in LINE! "Who am I to stand in a line!"

* Names: Africans and their names can be wild. Sometimes the name denotes their African Heritage and sometimes it dont. You might run into a BABATUNDE MCGLOVER and be thrown off. Cause his parents coulda been high and off some black power tip and named him Babatunde OR he could be African and someway or another his family ended up as the McGlover's.

* Men: The thing that stands out the most about Africans is how they raise their young men. You dont see African women raising kids by themselves, you see that father in the family life. When you see an African family together, you can sense the strength of the father figure when they walk in the room. I've seen many documentaries about the rites of passage for several tribes and sects on the continent of Africa and their young men are prepared for life at an early age.


All in all, I love my African people. I love their attire, their music and how they may not know much English..........but if someone says "50 Cent" or "2PAC" THEY GO WILD! Next Week People......."Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"




Verbal Prohibitions
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

There are many words throughout the English language that have stronger meanigs to some people, and may frequent conversation more than others. However some people should be prohibited from saying certain words. Today I am looking at the Big folks. Some people may say, hey big people catch a lot of flack, but there are certain things they should not say. I myself try to stay away from awkward situations for myself and the other situatee. Follow me, you shouldnt need your flashlight, but I will leave some bread crumbs.

Catapult: Big people should never use this word. Just say the nigga flew over the wall. Aint nobody catapulting no 234 pound woman, not Robin Hood, not NASA, not King Kong.

Hammock: Big people please no talk of buying hammocks, laying in hammocks, or even thinking about hammocks. If you have been in a hammock keep it to yourself, there is no point in buying that much rope to take a nap outdoors. If any of you plus-sizes people got a hammock, put a box-spring under him, because I know you laying low.

Snack: This is one of those words that sounds funny coming out a big girl's mouth. "think I'll have me a snack" I think you better get some water, because you just had lunch Keeda. Sat down and chill out, you still smell like them turkey wings from 20mins ago.

"No more...that's too much": This is a phrase heard in places like Baskin Robbins, or your local carry-out. More often than not, you aint hungry big folks, you just in there because of a hard burp. You tasted that Manwich in the burp and now you think you hungry. Just because they have sprinkles at Baskin Robbins doesnt mean you need them, probablly just came out of Giant with a bag of Milanos (Pepperidge Farms cookies) and gonna crush them on that big sundae.

"With his big self": unless you follow this with "I know I am big but" please refrain from saying it.

"Think I'lll have..": this is usually followed by something gargantaur, like a triple-cheese burger, or something fit for a grown man. Dont no man want a woman who eats as much as him (in one sitting)

"Uhm that looks good": I dont even want to get into this. Needless to say it is said to often. Keeda dont touch my food.

"...cakes": Big people should not say cakes, treats or snacks

"Can I have a bite": No not that walrus sized bite you bout to take. dont do it, please dont do it, if I catch you I'm gonna tell it.

"Just a taste": Big people you aint tasting nothing, quit it.

Adjectives: Big people keep those adjectives simple, when you start saying delectible and scrumptious, I have a problem with that. You just greedy, it dont taste that good.

I wouldnt want you to think I am picking on the chunky
There is just no need to act a monkey
Over food, females just no need to act funky.
Remember that when at Golden Corral,
Or at Duff's before eating the whole cow.
Watch your carbs, and your fat intake,
Because nobody wants to be wedged on the train next to a human buttercake.



Friday, March 12, 2004

"The Underworld that is Metro"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

I often notice certain things while on the Metro. Some good some bad, some just down right hivarious. Today we will look at Metro's Comfort Zone, and the Attention Seekers. Follow me if you will, watch out for that gum, dont wanna mess your shoes.

It is a psychological fact that people have Comfort Zones, i.e. personal space. We as black people (mixed, and pigmently challenged folks learn something) dont like people we dont know, and some people we do know too close to us. If we are carrying on a convo, that doesnt mean you need to be 3 feet in front of me. Back up and project your voice, if your throat hurts...email me.

In certain situations our Comfort Zone's change, for instance when we are on the train our Comfort Zone changes. I may change from 5-8 feet to "as long as this nigga dont bump me with this rolling backpack" or "as long this niggas hand dont touch mine while I am holding the rail". However just because the Comfort Zone gets smaller, that does not entitle folks to certain privileges.

Dont stand real close to me if the train aint crowded, there is just no cause for this. I'm jive a big dude, but I dont take up 2 seats, so if you plan on sitting next to me, angle your butt so it doesnt hit my shoulder, thank you. People who wedge themselves, dont sit so close to the wedged person that you look intimately close, respect the rules of the Underworld, and scoot yourself. Big people, Big people, where do I begin, you know like I know alot of you need a seat to yourself. If this were United Airlines you would pay a double-fare. Dont think to sit next to an above-average sized person. You better stand and suffer!

Attention Seekers: You people with your walkmen too loud. you know who you are. Now most attention seekers are teenagers, or big women, or DC Government workers. Big women just on there running their mouth talking about gossip, what happened on American Idol, or their love life. I dont need to hear that before 10am.

DC Government workers, especially Library of Congress, talk about the job-site. Oh and they use profanity, a ride next to them will definitely enlighten you on office ongoings with this Negrographic Narratives.

Teenagers: I know the youth need attention, but young fellas stop all this dancing on the train. I am only 24, but when I was coming up, young niggas werent doing all this dancing. All that "beating-your-feet" is not appropriate. When we were coming up, we just cussed on the train, or felt up the young ladies, but all this dancing, and female profanity is setting a bad base for the adolescents.

The train is a secret society with it's own rules and regulations, different social classes, and guilds. There is always something to behold on the red, blue, green or gold.
Watch your step when it is wet and cold,
especially when it's hot and the pre-teens are so bold,
cussing around ladies so old.
Understand the train and it's caste system,
but dont run for the train in that cast sista,
Aint nothing cute about bad train behavior,
whether it be a trip, slip or booger in your nose, nothing can save ya.



Auto Report
by Salvador Gabor

In September of 2003, the 2004 Models came out for us to gasp in amazement about. Cars such as the 2004 BMW 745 il, The 2004 Cadillac Escalade, the 2004 Mercedes Benz Maybach, and several other cars of this magnitude. Even if you are not looking in a magazine, at a music video or outside a club, you are STILL bound to see these cars. The bad thing about them is that they are expensive and although they are pricey, it may be hard to purchase a car like this because of the limited stock (in the case of the Maybach). We here at the Salvador Gabor Project encourage individuality, uniqueness and the broadening of horizons. Who needs an Escalade when you have this...........



Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the 1987 Ford Econoline. What nigga can get wit you if you pull up to the club with this. This is the ULTIMATE in Country/Over 60/AAU Basketball Luxury. Coaches, Old men who take people home at the grocery store and women who serve in the Church's Sick & Shut-in Ministry would LOVE to have one of these.

The Ford Econoline is a state of the art fully-loaded Van, suitable for an age and sits up to 7 Adults. Have you ever sat on the third row of a van, eating mashed up peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (You know.........the kind that sticks to the roof of your mouth), a pack of pecan swirls and an orange soda (no not Sunkist but Fanta!)? Or how about some good home-cooked fish with a jug of hot sauce from Murry's? This is good eating and good traveling that can only be experienced in a 1987 Ford Econoline.

This Van does not have leather seats. FOR WHAT? So you can hop in on a hot day and be stuck to the seat! There is a nice suedish cloth to lay upon while driving or riding. Shoot, for $3,995, you cant beat that. Also, there is a 3 X 5 Television mounted in the top of the van. Now if you are driving through areas such as Gaston, NC you may not get good reception but thats ok dont worry about that at all. Also there is a tape player. The van comes with complimentary tapes from artists such as Al Green, Johhnie Taylor and gospel group.....The Canton Spirituals.

Lenny & Cat-Eye's Auto Driver rank this vehicle as the best Van for under $4,000. I dont see a better $4,000 investment than this. And if you act now, you have and unlimited warranty covered by "Basehead Bill" who is the grease monkey mechanic over on 58th & Blaine streets in N.E. He will fix anything wrong with this car for $10. You know niggas gotta get high mayne!


Thursday, March 11, 2004

Commentary
By Salvador Gabor


"Book Smarts"

How much is book smarts really worth nowadays? Just to take a piece from Reggie's article yesterday..........to realize the value of an education, dont ask the girl who got a 4-year degree and is now a receptionist. It's weird how the cards fall. You go to college. You get good grades while you are in college. You are recruited by major corporations because of your performance while in college. A company hires you and gives you a signing bonus. ALL of this only to let you go 6 months later with a severance package because some lying accountant in the company took money and the value of the whole company plummets, leaving you in the cold. Its crazy when you get a degree in something like Sociology and you get out in the world and for some reason websites like Monster.com and USAJobs.com are looking for sociologists??? Go figure. But what leads people to disasters like this?

The biggest misconception is that "this field pays big money"! First off let me say that NO amount of money can make you happy. I couldnt be a mortician or a caretaker of a dead body. Its just not in me. Money pays bills but if you dont want to wake up and go to that job, the money will soon lose its value. But beyond the money aspect, picking a field because that field is considered to be good is a major misconception. 9 times out of 10, the major fields will be flooded with people JUST like you or better than you at what it is you have learned in that field. If everyone has a degree dealing with Computers, its gonna be much harder for you to get a job dealing with computers. Go with what you really enjoy. Even if its basketweaving, SO WHAT! If you love basketweaving, you will work to become the BEST basketweaver because you enjoy doing it. Yeah every basketweaver doesnt become a millionaire but if you like it THAT much you can be the next Martha Stewart............well........ you wouldnt wanna be exactly like her.

Your life as an adult starts much earlier than you think. Most of us get dropped off at college at the age of 18 and your parent say "I'll be back to pick you up in about 4 years". We go and unpack our bags and we register. We pick any ole major because thats just how we felt on the day of registration. In my own example, I was stuck between Marketing and Accounting. I ended up picking Accounting because I felt that with Marketing, sometimes you had to "lie" to consumers and I wasn't down with that. Me not knowing any better, I felt I was doing the "right" thing. Almost 7 years later now I know that with Marketing/Advertising you dont have to lie. Actually the creativity that we display on this site can be accredited to our keen sense of Marketing and knowing what drives people. What makes them tick. What stands out to a person. And most importantly, what they want and how they feel. Im not saying that Accounting aint for me at all. If I have to have an "office job", this is what I want to do. But there is a creative side of me that wants to make commercials, do a movie or turn this site into a magazine. Its a shame we have to choose our lives at 18. Who knows what would have happened had I not scratched out Marketing on my registration card?????

Is college really the promise land? Sometimes I challenge that theory. You know about 10 years ago, I began to hear alot of the old folks say "Son go to college and get an education, without that degree you cant get no job!". 10 years later many of us have these degrees and dont have jobs or we have under-paying jobs???? What's funny is that when that old-timer tells you that, for some strange reason I believe you werent the ONLY person he told that too. Someone else heard that speech as well and they definitely hopped on that word of advice. Now EVERYONE is in or has went to college. And what does this mean for our world? College is like a machine. We are the product. It's an assembly line process. Every year Hundreds of Thousands of Kids get degrees and they all are going for the same job. SO I wonder, will there be a point where there are just NOT enough "office jobs"? The point has already come where your Bachelor's Degree has lost valued. Now you need a Ph.D to get a regular "office job". But really, for those of you not making alot of money at your job after going to college, ask yourself a question. What if you just worked from 18-22? Lets say as an electrician? You saved your doe and invested it right? Buy the time you are 23-25, you could be well on your way to having your own electrical company. Although it may be small, its YOURS. Its an accomplishment. At 25 you could be established, whereas now at 25 most of us college grads are still lost. Its just a thought. I've seen many people make it without degrees. You can make $75K- $100K cutting hair for a living. Its POSSIBLE. College is for people who either dont know what they want to do or need a 4-year certification in order to complete the requirements for their field. If you really want to be an electrician, take the 6 month course and get it in. You save 3 and 1/2 years and about $55,000 in the process. Many of us go to college because we want to impress others. I had a female once tell me........."I want a man who has a 'professional' job. So when we go to Black Tie Affairs, he's not saying 'I cut hair for a living' or 'I pick up trash for a living' ". What's so crazy is that she was adamant about that!! But i'd rather smell like boneless fish from picking up trash all day with $100,000 in my bank account than have some tie and tight slacks on with no ink to spare. All I'm saying is know your options.


Life is about exposure. Just to take you guys back to an example of my own. I loved Accounting. I loved it when I was young because I was good with numbers. I remember having a project in the 6th grade and my teacher gave us like $3,000 to work with in order to get on our feet as adults. She gave us newspapers and magazines to order furniture, computer equipment or whatever we felt we needed from the beginning. Me being the "nigga" that I am, I spent my whole 3 G's on suits. In my mind I was like "This is how I need to start off!". But seriously, my mindset was that way because when I saw Accountants, I saw nice suits. I saw a person that people trust their money with. I saw a person who controls the lives of many people. I wanted to be that person. I took Accounting classes in High School and aced them. It just got to a point in my grade school career that Business oriented classes were all that I was exposed to. I wonder sometimes, "What if I knew what engineers did back then?". "I never knew you could do this or that with Architecture?". The point being, if you are a parent, what is your child being exposed to? Most kids wanna be police officers, athletes and doctors because growing up leads you to see those occupations the most. Dont ask your kid what he or she wants to be, take them out to different places and let them SEE what it is they want to be. If you pay attention to your child (as you should be), what they are best at will come out. What they like and tend to do better in will come out. Writing and humor has been in my blood since I was young. I always wrote and I always like to laugh and joke. I just never had someone tell me that I could make a living from it. Dont let your kid grow up saying "If I had known?" And more importantly, dont let your kid grow up to say "Welcome to Days Inn" after you spent $60,000 on a Business Management degree.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

"To Realize"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

To realize the value of a fresh white T, ask a nigga in an ashy black one.

To realize the value of ten years, ask a nigga outta Lorton in some gap sweatpants and a jean jacket.

To realize the value of 5yrs, ask a REAL graduate.

To realize the value of one beer, ask the nigga drinking on the set of Cheers.

To realize the value of $9, ask that crackhead in the alley shivering with his new stone.

To realize the value of a month, dont ask Tremaine with them new Jordans on, some niggas dont wait.

To realize the value of a week, dont ask the 15 yr old with the beard buying beer for himself, by himself.

To realize the value of an hour, ask the nigga standing in the One-Hour Martinizing in his drawls.

To realize the value of a minute, ask the stripper who worked a double-shift, giving the lapdance to "Payback" by James Brown.

To realize the value of a second, ask the runner-up to Vanessa Williams in the Ms Black Awareness Pageant.

To realize the value of a millisecond, ask that nigga on the corner with the baby-gash on his arm, instead of that buckshot in his lung.

To realize the value of a friend, goto a family reunion, and see cousin Tracy, got to be friendly.


The DMV waits for no one, Treasure comes on the 1st and 15th, But joy is inside, and cant no surgeon steal that, not even a busty girl trying to steal your pride. Know this..... soft tags might only last 30days,
and those tickets they might not trace, whether they are issued in Virginia or the land of lust and lace.
Oh but hard tags should last until that Buick breaks down u can trade in but the hard tags still screw down.

Glossary of Terms: DMV: Dem Marriage Vows.



Announcements
by Salvador Gabor

*Jerome Baker Check out today's "Archive of the Day" from Rome's site. His archives are now working. For those who dont know, I started off writing on his site. My FIRST ever article is entitled "Tips for Success: My Life as a Grown Man: The Button Up Theory". Its under the archives for 10/1/03 - 10/30/03. Its a portion of the post from 10/28/03. Check it out

*Reggie Dinkins, Jr is celebrating his 24th birthday today. Everybody join us in saying Happy Birthday to the brother! Hey brother from all of us at the Salvador Gabor Project, Happy Birthday.........................



Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Spring and Summertime in The Hood
by Salvador Gabor

The weather is breaking. I just wanted to make sure everyone knew that and that everyone is aware of the Hood Spring Time. See in D.C., the spring is known for Cherry Blossoms and stuff like that. In the hood its a lil different. Let me point out some things you can look forward to if you spend your spring and summer in the hood

* Expect Cognac! The next few months will see an increase in public cognac consumption. All the old heads will be in the street, with their car doors open pumpin some ole skool and grooving. Usually they dont start till about 5:00 in the afternoon

* Expect late church services. Dont it seem like church only have late services when its NICE outside. Lil kids be MAD that they in there at 4:30 on a Saturday

* Expect White Shoes. Not Diadora's or Air Force One's. Although they will be prevalent, im speaking on the White Dress Shoes. Hispanic Women and African-American men over 52 will have on White Shoes. Especially on the weekend.

* Expect girls to be pregnant. All that "creeping" you did in the winter will be poking out yo' belly in the spring. Believe that. Whether you was "Snowed-In" or "Hoed-In" it will be SHOW-IN!

* Expect the class of 2004. No not the graduates from High School/College. Im talking bout Niggas coming home from jail. Especially them dudes that still think its '91 out here on these streets

* Expect the electric slide. "And you know its there.......here there and everywhere!" I dont think 2004 is the year that we will be able to retire this one people. Its still moving strong

* Expect Big Coats. As the spring turns to summer some brothers cant give up their coats. It can be the middle of July and if it rains hard enough, the Eddie Bauer and NorthFace Parkas come back out for some reason.

* Expect Fake Designer Clothes. Yall remember when the whole hood had fake Iceberg "Snoopy" shirts? Maybe that was just my hood. Or the gucci buckets wit the Q's on em? How bout the versace tennis shoes with Uncle Ben's face on it instead of the Medusa Head? Street Retailers will be on the loose this upcoming summertime/springtime

* Expect Church Fundraisers/Awareness. The Spring is when all the religions go in FULL MODE. Muslims selling Bean Pies and Papers. Christians selling Chicken and Katydids and of course..........the Jehovah's Witnesses are playing the ATF role. The knock down your door like the DEA. You'd think you had a Kilo of cocaine in your house on a hot saturday morning.

* Expect it to be COLD again before it stays hot. For all yall fools who had on Tank-Tops and T-Shirts this weekend and now you got on COATS........and you snifflin'............thats what you get!



Get ready, that time is coming. We here at the Salvador Gabor project will do some "interviews" with Grass Cutters, Car Washes and Mechanics............ALL who dib and dab in the hood. These are key members of the hood during this spring/summer time. Get ready cause we are.

Monday, March 08, 2004

Sal's Corner
"Chuuch"

I love church. I think the idea of gathering with those who believe in what you believe is essential to successful living. Its one thing to watch a game by yourself, but when you can watch it with friends who root for the same team its better. What's EVEN better is when you GO to the game WITH friends who enjoy the sport as much as you do. As is the same for church. Although church should not be taken as a game or as a sport, to be able to fellowship with those who believe as you do can be a blessing. But I want to talk about the GOOD AND the BAD things about church as we know it. Let's be clear on one thing though, this article is NOT about spirituality. This article is about church. Some dont realize that there is a difference. Spirituality is how you live, whereas church is the ritual that you partake in religiously. Im also looking at the idea of church from a lighter/humorous perspective so please dont take offense.

The BAD things about church:

* The Week Before. You know when you go to church what you've done the week before can do you in that Sunday. Even the NIGHT before on Saturday could hurt you. Sometimes you might have done something so bad that you cant even see going into church with a guilty conscience.

Solution: No matter what though, go ahead in there. PERIOD. Everyone is struggling with SOMETHING. No one is "Holier than thou" so work towards being where you should be with your relationship with God.

* The Offering. The offering is NOT bad. I believe you should give an offering and tithe as well. I just think it should be done differently. Like, we should be able to pay from home. Or when we first get in the building. 'Cause when the pastor starts reading the announcements and you know its getting towards the offering. AT that point, all the big timers start pulling out wads and you look like you about to go catch the bus with all that change you have.

Solution: Even if you got 35 cents. Let that change drop in that bucket and make it as loud as possible. So what you dont have $20 to give. So what your money makes noise when it goes in. Aint that what Jesus said to do? MAKE A JOYFUL NOISE.

* The "Double Clap". Everybody likes to get their jam on, and their praise on. Thats cool. But some of yall be tryna be too fancy. Sometimes I think yall might be getting your moves from the club. But that "Double Clap" can throw some of us off. Most women can do the "Double Clap". Its the men who mess it up. You ever seen a 60-year old man try to double-up on the clap? Its NOT pretty. Old men have a hard enough time keeping up with the rhythm ANYWAY. Then they look over and see Sister Ragsdale dropping in a "Double Clap" and he thinks HE can do it too!

Solution: If you dont have Rhythm, just lift up both hands and look up. That seems to always help?????

* Attire. Ok I have a serious "Bone" to pick with this subject. Prime example...........YESTERDAY. I didnt feel like dressing up. So I had my New Balance on, White Tee, Zip-up Sweater/Jacket and a pair of jeans. Ironed, cleaned and neat. Wouldnt appear to be a problem now would it? I get to church yesterday and I noticed that some people looked at me like I was crazy. Now I dress down every once in a while so I dont think its that much of a shocker BUT I had people responding REALLY different. Had people asking "Where have you been?" and "Its been a long time since I've seen you". I was like "IVE BEEN HERE EVERY WEEK!" They act like when you come in with "regular" clothes on that you've been out in the street on dope. People were looking at me SO funny that I had to ask myself "DO I look like I've been on that D????"

Solution: Understand that no one is perfect. Even though someone may know the bible back and forth like the back of their hand, we ALL are human. And our human element comes out. They see you with "regular" clothes and their human mentality thinks "He/She is in the street now".


The GOOD things about church:


* Love. No where have I found as much genuine love as in church. People greet you with a smile, you get hugs and encouragement from people you may not even know! Its truly a good feeling when you can go to a "real" loving church and receive love from people. It makes you feel that the world aint completely bad after all

* The Women. NO NO NO, see im not even thinking that deep into it. So before you think the wrong thing let me go in detail about what I mean. Going to church and seeing beautiful women lets me know that there are some women left that are fit to be wives. Not saying that because a woman is in church, she is gonna be perfect but at least she has her mind on the Lord.

* Growth. Looking at where you've been and where you are going and being able to give thanks to God for where he has brought you in this lifetime is good. Sometimes we pray for what we want but never stop to just say thanks. You aint gotta say a 30 minute prayer. But when you go to church, often times you think about that car that coulda hit you this week or that person who hooked you up with an extra wing at the carryout or that man who passed you his transfer on the bus through the window so you could get on the bus free. That makes you look to the sky and just say "Thanks God". If we would just thank him for what he's done, all the other things we need would come much easier

* Passing on Knowledge. Its been times in my life where someone like a close friend has been down or discouraged and I had nothing to say in my mind to solve or help their problem. Many times a message from church popped up in my head and I said exactly that to help my friend in need. Take the time and listen to whats being said and apply it to your life. When you continue to hear whats being said from God, you can help others in their life.


Just remember, no matter what life is a walk. Sometimes you stumble and EVEN fall. Just keep one foot in front of the other........."CHUUUCH"




Groundhog Days
by Reggie Dinkins Jr.

Many people, mainly those from the Magical World of Caucazoids, tend to believe in pointless days, and creatures with fictional powers. A prime example is Groundhog Day, these people (present reading company included or excluded depending upon your belief) think some fat furry aminal is going to forecast the weather. Not a chance, you can have Puxatauny, around here I have my own methods.

There are certain days between February and April when you can tell the weather is going to be real nice. Sometimes it is the obvious 65 degrees on your morning tv, or 5 real pretty girls on the train. There are certain types of people that let you know the weather is bout to break and that your Friday may be wild, like crazy young Kindergartener who should be a rittalin-child. I like to call these people Groundhogs. Take a trip with me if you will.

Groundhogs come in many different varieties. Like that variety pack of chips your mother would buy, some good some bad. A groundhog could be a bunch of good-looking girls in a 4 by 75 foot space, better known as a Metrocar. Speaking of the train, there are many groundhogs who lay in wait here. You got that guy who gets on who doesnt look like he should be up this early wearing a Coca-Cola shirt. Lemme really break this down for you, here is a list of groundhogs.

*Older guys in Salem and or Newport t-shirts

*A special panel of people on smoke breaks, there are people that are always out there, but you never see them together, but they unite and indulge in "Cigarette Philosophy"

*Somebody wearing a cheap-fur in mid-morning.

*Niggas in jackets with sports teams on them, but the jackets are from 95 or earlier.

*People who smell of beer in public.

*A woman with a new hair color, she trying to get right for that weather.

*Fat people moving too quickly, this always lets you know something has gone awry.

*Co-workers in public: a strange dude walking with 1 or 2 foxy ladies, in their "I shouldnt wear this to the office" clothes

*Now this one is relatively new: Niggas in suspenders without their jackets.

*Old lady in green stockings, u know she working a desk job.

*Old dudes that break out the checker boards

*You see your neighborhood alley mechanic at work

*Ladies with bad low-haircuts, i mean bad.

*People with gold-toofus. The gold-toofus is way more noticable in warm climate.

There are many types of Groundhogs, sometimes it is just a look in a person's eye, a velcro strap will do it. There are many little things that go unoticed, such as a funny cough, or a cigarette behind the ear, or too many people in the cleaners, especially a black-owned cleaners. Keep an eye out for the Groundhogs, otherwise you might be wearing that leather when a windbreaker will do.

This is a reminder from the NNCG, Neighborhood Niggas Cutting Grass. Please tip your neighborhood nigga cutting grass, because we gotta pay somebody to use their edger. This aint Chemlawn, its Themlawn. We just be cutting Themlawns, and edging is extra.

Friday, March 05, 2004

Interview with Stanley "Charlie" Pettigay
by Salvador Gabor


Every once and a while, a person comes along that changes the game. That person can not be replaced nor can they be underestimated or under-appreciated. When it comes to the Crack Game in D.C. "Charlie" definitely fits that description. Although not known on a national level for his success with selling "buttas", "Charlie" is respected for his contribution to all dope sellers in the D.C. Area


Salvador Gabor: Just be clear, at no point can we use the name Stanley Pettigay.

Charlie: OH naw man. Police is everywhere. Them niggas probably be in the lil window by my shower in the mornin' sometimes. Never can tell

SG: Alright Charlie, tell the world about you and what you've done for the crack game

Charlie: Two words: SEWN UP. I sewed this game up years ago. I done rocked many of blocks across this city. You name it, Ive sold it, you call the place, I've sold it there. Im a true hustler.

SG: What makes your game so top flight?

Charlie: You know a young nigga gotz to keep premium product. Sometimes I let the "headz" test my "work" and they just fall out their chair. I had one dude pass out and his nose bled for 2 days. Now THAT'S some serious "butta" right there!

SG: So where do you get your product from?

Charlie: HOLD HOLD HOLD UP. I thought this was an interview, you not me getting on no stand and testifying! You got the game wrong. I keeps it gangsta!

SG: Speaking of testifying, have you had any legal troubles as of late?

Charlie: Po-Po harasses a nigga all day. But they dont stop my shine. Im like the sun when I hit these bricks. From 6am to 6 Pm Im OUT HERE!

SG: Oh so you do your dealing in the day?

Charlie: MOST DEF, my niggas dont sell dope after night time!

SG: But back to the legal troubles, have you ever done time in jail?

Charlie: Not no real time. I been over the jail for like 30 days but for real, I aint going to jail...........Cause I dont COP to these charges. Niggas be so called gangstas in the street, then cry on the stand. Copping to misdemeanors before the trial even start. NIGGA.........Take it to trial. If you got caught wit a pistol in your Delta 88, take it trial. If they jumped out on you and you tossed the "buttas", take it to trial. I aint NEVA coppin!

SG: What is your main goal?

Charlie: Im not tryna sell dope all my life. I got other things I wanna do........like selling weed! I mean crack is cool but the charges are more serious. I just wanna sell enough crack to save up like about $500,000 and then lay back and pump that good green and chill

SG: Where are you currently pumping your "stones"?

Charlie: Just hit me on my pager. Im everywhere

SG: No No I dont want your crack, I was just asking

Charlie: Oh Ok, cause I was about to say............I got "Buttas" in my drawls right now! Im always ready to serve!

SG: You keep em in your DRAWLS?

Charlie: You can go out there on the pound wit stones in your pocket if you WANT TO! Not the kid. Them feds gonna have to DIG DEEP to get me! Ya Hear ME!

SG: What about the community? Do you feel a certain way about selling drugs to your own people?

Charlie: Yeah I feel a "certain" way. I know its CERTAIN that on the 1st and 15th, the whole Southside is gonna be ROCKIN! Nigga I made $1,500 everyday from the 1st to da 5th this week!

SG: Today is the 5th Charlie! And its only 9:30 A.M.?

Charlie: RIGHT, I was up and out at 6:00 this morning. Nigga, I done rocked off all my 20's and 50 rocks THIS MORNING. You think its a game. D.C aint got nuttin but crackheads! Everybody on "buttas". Yo' Mamma might be on "buttas"

SG: Ok Charlie.........Any last words for the people, especially the kids reading this interview

Charlie: Kids...........dont sell drugs. I wouldnt want you cutting into my money. Cause I dont usually kill 13 years olds but for this dope I'll getchu OUTTA THERE! Holla atcha boy, champ!