Thursday, February 19, 2004

Recap of the 2004 Negro Consortium
Gartrelle W. Sexton, Esquire

The Negressional Black Caucus Announced.........
Effective immediately:

To all Black women, nurses, ladies from Baltimore and St. Louis especially: red, blue, and/or yellow streaks in your hair are prohibited, specifically if you have braids. Black or brown, stay true.

To Black men: Driving an Escalade, Lexus, Benz or the like is prohibited if you still live with your mama. Get up, get out, get your own.

To Black men & women: Asian character tattoos are prohibited. You don't even know what it means, but it looks nice. Sum dum gal.

To Black men and women: The term "My baby daddy/mama" is prohibited if your child is more than 2 years old. Actually, the terms are banned outright. Doesn't "My child's mother/father" sound much better? Either get married or get your $350 together.

To Black parents: Your children are prohibited from having every pair of Jordans or a Playstation 2 before they can read.

To all Black people: Do not go to the movies to see Soul Plane! C'mon my people, a ghetto version of Airplane? An airplane with hydraulics and spinners? We can do better than that. Soul Plane has earned the first of many Coon Image Awards for 2004. (Edit: Snoop @ the Grammy's was the first recipient)

(This also goes for movies like Malibu's Most Wanted, My Baby's Daddy and Bringing Down The House. Movies like this are the reason why I only went to the movies ONE time in all of 2003.)

Special Section: Black Pass Revocation- Justin Timberlake who was mistakenly given a pass in the first place, has officially had his current membership revoked. It was revoked, not for pulling Janet's tig ol bitty out, but for turning his back on Janet and acting like he is some innocent choir boy and he had no idea of what was gonna go down.

"This Moment in Nigga History"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

On this day we would like to look at an artist in the Nigga World. Known for his stints on Soul Train,
Solid Gold, and Live at the Legends, and the Quonset Connection. Breaker Johnson, an A-1 dance machine. Known for his pop-locking throughout the city, point blank...this nigga could dance!

Breaker was known to put the funky in the "funky chicken", the goose in "loose goose", and the
sourkrout in the cabbage-patch. Once a backup dancerfor Rick James, Breaker Johnson won Metro fame for outdancing a plenty of niggas throughout the DC Dance Circuit. On Thursdays the Circuit would hold a "Show" at Metro Center, right by the Hecht's entrance. Breaker Johnson took on "The Snake" in a welterweight matchup. The two put on a variety of moves, from "The Snake"'s Swinging Gate and his Chimmney Sweep, to Breaker's Carry-Out and the Pocketknife.

This was a heated "Show" it had been publicized for 3 Thursdays, The Snake vs Breaker was all you heard
around the city, the pressure surrounding the event caused Metro to make onlookers pay to see the event
(i.e. go thru the turnstiles to watch it). Breaker found himself losing after "The Snake" performed the
rarely seen "Sweet Potato" followed by the "Buick Hump" (later named the Snake then evolved into the
Millipeede). This forced Breaker to go into his bag of tricks, pulling out the Pocketknife, and jumping
right into the "Mayor-Barry" the crowd went wild and crowned the new Welterweight Champion of the DC Dance Circuit.

Breaker Johnson also gained fame taking on heavyweight contedenders, such as Fat Rodney, and Sumo-Ty. He also gained fame in the bad ice-storm of '78 when Breaker did the backslide down Lincoln Road covered in ice. Breaker Johnson is rumored to be one of the founding fathers of the "hee haw", and was the reigning Hee Haw Champion from 1987-1993, when he failed to comply with the JYB and defend his title out of town. Today we salute Breaker Johnson a "Nigga in the Streets".

And Finally.......

by Salvador Gabor

* TAY Jewelers is having a Presidents' Day Sale. 50% off on all Rubberbands, Keychains and Nike Shox Wristbands. TAY Jewelers located on Georgia and Euclid Sts., N.W. has provided the finest in "urban" jewelry since 1993. For more info on the sale please call Dionte Shackleford at (202) 829-8899

* reported this morning that the weekly dice game on 145th & Lennox Ave. in Harlem was robbed last night. Chester Cunningham, also know "Bay" was on pace to break the all-time Cee-Lo record for money made in an hour time period held by "Lil Bag Up" from Dade County, Florida. "Bay" was $25 away from making $10,000 in between the hour of 12:00 A.M. and 1:00 A.M. when the robbery occured. There are no leads to any clues of who the suspects may be.

* The 13th Annual "Father and Son with a Gun" Challenge will be held this Sunday February 22, 2004 at the Good Hope Road Sportatorium in S.E. Washington D.C.. The event will be hosted by the good brothers from over on 36th & Minnesota. A representative from the organization told me that "you can only buy tickets AT THE DOOR, Nothing in advance champ.......I dont know them niggas, and they dont know me"

For ad space on the Salvador Gabor Project, please contact Decharles Taylor at 301-455-3534. YES this is the same number as Ethel Womack who is in charge of all Bus Convoys. Ethel and DeCharles are on the same T-Mobile plan. Cant we all just ROLLOVER???