"Questions in 2004"
by Salvador Gabor
I had a friend come home from being incarcerated a few months ago. He spent SEVEN years in prison. SEVEN years!!! He left in '96 and came home late in '03. That seven year period by far has been the biggest seven-year period for technology and growth that we've ever seen. The internet, CD Players, DVD Players, TV's in cars, Cell Phones, Two-way pagers, lets see, what else??........you know.......The "Cha Cha Slide". I mean I thought I'd never see a time where you'd go to a party for a 50 year old and not hear the Electric Slide....... "Good miss molly, she sure got the boogie!!!!!" But seriously I thought to myself, what questions/thoughts would I have if I came home from jail and I'd been in for 7-10 years maybe 15-20 years?
* Man, I guess this Georgetown Hoyas Starter Jacket aint gonna get me the girls no more huh?
* Should I cut my Jheri Curl and start over or should I just go head and cornrow them joants?
* How come Im the only one wit white dress shoes and chinese collared shirts?
* All these girls cutting they hair off! What happened to the "French Rolls" and the fingerwaves in the front?
* Why are dem boys on TV wearing them silver chains and drinking that champagne thats wrapped up like butterscotch candy?
* Hey MA!...... MAMMA! Where are my Beta Tapes? Its 5' Oclock and its Saturday, I gotta tape "Small Wonder"..... I already missed "Fall Guy"
* Now the last time I came to NY, them two big buildings was RIGHT HERE? I know I aint trippin???? I sware they was!!!
* Hey why do Big Mamma got them big "Kool Moe Dee" sunglasses on?
* George Foreman is cooking now?
* We used to stand IN a line to pay a bill now yall ONline?
* Yeah I checked into the hotel but they aint give me no key? What im 'posed to do with this card?
* I need your address so I can send you an invite to my party. So tell me what street your email is on again?
* Why Hulk Hogan dont wear the yellow shorts no more?
* Rudy from the "Cosby Show"? Punky Brewster? Samantha from "Who's the Boss" ?? They have sure nuff grown up?
* Say it aint so, the lil girl from "Family Matters" is doing freak movies?????? What kinda world have yall been living in?
* "Uncle Phil" and "Carl Winslow" are gay?
* Now I know granddaddy aint cutting grass in my Huarache's????? Mamma tell poppa them my good Nike's.
* Man JOE GIBBS been coaching for a long time, he should go head and retire?
* Hold on? Who is the chinese dude acting like he Michael Jackson?
* Well at least yall still wearing Jordan's, Polo Shirts, Puma's, Converse, Izod shirts, Guess Jeans, Strap Hats and listening to LL Cool J. I just wanna know why are these jeans called "Diesel" on the shelf where I used to by my Corniche's?
* They done closed Cavalier's???? Say it aint so!!! THAT WAS MY JOANT RIGHT THERE. Now where a brother gonna find a Olive Green Suit??????