Friday, February 27, 2004

"This Moment in Black History"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

February 28th is a day that marked a significant change in Black medicine and creativity. It was on February 28, 1940, that a grand change took place in Black medicine. this change was more important than those of Charles Drew and Ben Carson.

The man Doctor Chavis. Now Doctor Chavis wasnt really a doctor, that was just his name. However he was "local" pharmacist/negro shaman in the Shaw community. Many people in the Shaw community, from Florida Park, to the Kennedy Polo Grounds came to Chavis for cure-alls.

One day Sister Ruberta Holmes came to Doctor Chavis for something for her headache. Doctor Chavis have any Tylenol-like substances since his "clerk" Tyus Bodine couldnt get on the "Standard Drug" truck and access him some. However Chavis did have something "doctored up". What Doctor Chavis did have was Prescription Lunchmeat. He had some lunchmeat from the previous Tuesday and "doctored it up" with some ginger and some hemp.

Sister Ruberta took one hit/bite of the Prescription Lunchmeat and was cured of her ailments. she got a slight headrush but she didnt mind that one bit. (she loved getting some Brandy and heading over to W.U.S.T. to listen to Shaw Sounds). Doctor Chavis made a killing with his Prescription Lunchmeat, doctors just up the street at Howard University Hospital tried to get a little taste and use it. Much to their shagrin Chavis said no-suh, and treated patients from his 5th & S office.

Doctor Chavis made miyons and helped some local players in the hemp market such as Edward Vann. He also funded some local businesses such as Ben's Chilli Bowl. to this day u can ask for a burger with "chilli and chavis" and everything will be everything.

Doctor Chavis a true Black innovator, and a hero for the Shaw Community!

Thursday, February 26, 2004

by Salvador Gabor

I've been really wanting to go see "The Passion of the Christ". Not because of the hype that the media has dropped on the movie. I just want to see it in order to understand where Mel Gibson may be coming from. He's taking a story told to him and creating a visual based on what he knows and has heard. I think when it comes down to it, thats really what this movie is all about.

I believe in Jesus Christ, I believe he is our savior and I believe he died so that we could have eternal life. Thats my belief and you can kill me if you dont like it. But if you dont believe what I believe or what Mel Gibson believes then just dont go see the movie. Even if you do believe in Jesus Christ as our savior, but you are offended by the movie, just dont go see it. Mel Gibson is not a preacher, nor does he profess to be the perfect saint. I mean.......he had the nerve to do 3 or 4 Lethal Weapons, 1 and 2 were ENOUGH. But anyway, this movie is HIS perception of a story. If I saw "pee-wee" and "Tay" fighting on Georgia Avenue, I have a right to tell what I saw??? Dont I? I mean ok maybe "Pee-Wee" didnt get knocked down by "Tay's" punch? Maybe it was that when "Tay" swung, "Pee-Wee" stepped back and slipped on a plastic pork-rind bag and thats what made him fall? But its MY story. If you dont wanna hear my story, then go ask "Black Rick" an em down at thet corner store what happened between "Tay" and "Pee-Wee".

The whole point being, its a movie. Respect the time that was put into it and the artform. If its not your belief or opinion, move on. Life is similar to holding on to something...........if you wanna keep holding on...........YOU GOTTA GETTA GRIP!

Business News
by Salvador Gabor

It is a sad day for all Gucci Bucket Hat owners and people who bought brown jeans for intentions of only putting G's all over their jeans. Tom Ford, designer for Gucci is stepping down from his position at Gucci. After over 10 years of taking all you niggas' money, he is deciding to call it quits.

Tom Ford came to Gucci to revamp the legacy that Gucci had established decades ago. Once a child actor, Ford was successful in bringing Gucci back into the thick of the fashion industry. With stock options in the company worth $250 Million we are sure that Tom will be well-off without the paychecks from Gucci. Many of his fashion counterparts and competitors were saddened by his move but were happy for him. He is rumored to venture into the film industry now that he is leaving fashion.

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

The Ghost of "Pleasure's" Past
by Gartrelle W. Sexton, Esquire

Just a little reality check for the fellas. We say it time and time again, "strap up". We say we do it every time, but do we really? How many of us have been to the clinic? How many of us have had the unpleasurable experience of having a q-tip stuck in the eye of your member? Now that's real. Real pain. How many of us have had to endure that week long wait for our HIV test? Long week ain't it?

You say to yourself that you gonna kill the chick that gave it to you if you got something. But what chick? You start thinking about every girlfriend and one night stand that you've been with. You think about the few times you went raw dog and Lil Jon'd up in that cooter. You start thinking about the random stripper that performed sexual "activities" at that bachelor party. Oh yeah, you forgot you can catch the alphabets from those "activities" didn't you?

You start praying more than ever, lying to God about how you gonna be more careful and go to church every Sunday. You probably got so scared that you wished you were still a virgin. Wishing that you just had gonorrhea or the clap. For that whole week, your lady been wanting to give you some, but
you talking about you tired. Nigga, you scared. Scared that you died for some "pleasure". It's powerful.

So a week goes by and you go to get your results. You are sweating and talking to yourself on the drive over. Paranoid ain't the word to describe you. You nervous like Sadaam when they pulled him outta that foxhole. So you get your results. Everything is negative, you have a clean bill of health. Right? Don't forget, AIDS can law low in your body for as long as 6 years. But hey they said you are good to go. You are are disease free and think you are invincible again. And what do you know, you have another
bachelor party to go to this weekend.

Announcement from BOSHA (Burnt Out Strippers & Hooker Association):

To all tricks & Johns and lonely men at the club,

We did not, do not, will not like or love you. We did not, will not, won't ever ever give you some unless you pay for it. You losers have messed up the game for all the real brothers out there. We, the whores, are supposed to be free. But since you feel obligated to pay for it, we can't give away for free anymore. You are not doing "big things" because you had sex with one of my fellow stripper/hooker sistren. We just have low/no self-esteem, abuse problems, and bills to pay. So next time you are out there trickin'
your dough for a cheap thrill, remember that pleasure kills.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Movie Review
by Salvador Gabor

"Finding Kito" is a "straight to VHS/BETA" movie starring Malachi Winbush as "Kito". "Kito" finds himself caught up in the drug game selling heroin on the streets of Newport News, Virginia. "Kito" is arrested for an Unauthorized Use of a Ford Previa on Interstate 64. The Previa contained a small portion of heroin. Not enough for a felony charge but enough for a misdemeanor and a trip to the Norfolk Jail for a night. He is released on bail and is scheduled to go to court in a month's time.

Kito reports to court, receives a year's probation and is scheduled to take urines every wednesday. But you know how niggas are!!!!! Everyday he outside on Warwick Blvd, Martell bottle in one hand, a J of hash in the other. He obviously doesnt care. He still goes to take urines on Wednesday. He called himself drinking ONE glass of water to clean his system on Tuesday night. Essentially he was given an ultimatum. After 8 straight dirty urines, he is threatened to be "stepped back" to the Newport News Jail. He then misses the rest of his urine dates and is "on the run".

This movie is your typical drug dealer movie minus the love story that ends in domestic violence or death by a driveby. I rate this movie at 3 out of 5. Malachi Winbush is not an experienced actor and there were scenes where the director was seen in the corner of the screen handing him the script. Also the microphone often time was seen dropping into the screen and Malachi was often talking with his head upward so that he could speak into the camera.

This is Salvador Gabor reporting from the movies. Look forward to future movie features such as "Layaway", the prequel to "Paid in Full" and "The Life and Times of Dirty Dougie". This report is sponsored and has been brought to you by "Richard's Round Trees", the only spot in Greensboro, NC where you can find a Christmas Tree in June.

Monday, February 23, 2004

Sal's Corner
"Potent Rules for the Public Restroom"

When I was little, I didnt use the bathroom NOWHERE but 2830 6th St. One time I held my "peace" all the way from Chester, PA to DC. I would get the secretary at my elementary school to send me home because I had a "headache" but the whole time I need to talk to dat stool. When I got to school my freshman year in college, I found out that many people dont like using other restrooms than their own. One friend said he was holding his until Thanksgiving. I had similar feelings until I ate the waffles in the Cafeteria my first day down there. WOOOO. If you aint had Virginia Hall-Cleveland Hall Breakfast, you aint had your Colon cleansed. Even the thought of that place makes my stomach rumble. So I ate the breakfast in there that day and as soon as I got back to my dorm, I had to hit that commode QUICKLY. I mean my parents hadnt even LEFT yet and I was already getting "adjusted" to college life. But I had RARELY used another stool. So over the last 6 or 7 years I have had to learn the "Potent Rules for the Public Restroom" aka "The 10 CRACK Commandments"

Sidetip: Most of these rules wont apply to urination. We wanna focus more on the other method.

#1 Try not to urinate in a stall right next to another man. Men next to each other in stalls are like men next to each other in the movies. We need space. If its only two urinals, go in a closed stall to urinate.

#2 Teach your son how to urinate with his pants up. I hate coming in the restroom and seeing some 8-year old boy with his pants all the way down to his Jordan's. If he old enough not to be pee'n his pants, he's old enough to aim for the urinal without hitting his slacks.

#3 (Now to the real talk at hand) If you have to "do the number 2", wait till the restroom is empty. If its occupied, act like you came in to check out that bump on your face. Get into the act. Really seem like you are frustrated with that acne problem. As soon as that guy washes his hands (he betta), you take a straight line to the stall.

#4 Space. As in the urinal use, space is needed in stalls. If you have to go in NOW, do that but make some space. I dont like to see somebody's Johnston and Murphy's sliding around next to me.

#5 Dont talk to someone while they are on the stool or while you are on the stool. We all do the number 2 but we act like no one else does but us. We all do but I dont need to know its you. If Im washing my hands and I see your flightposites under that stall I wont even say nothing.

Sidebar: using the restroom in college was tough. Cause all of us DC dudes wore funny shoes. So if Im the only DC dude on that floor, and they see them gold flightposites, the process of elimination is a mutha!

#6 If someone comes in while you are by yourself, halt your process. Nothing is worst than that big "bloop" sound of your turd splashing in the water when another person is in there

#7 Oh did I mention wiping the stool down. Yall just nasty. Yall just gonna let me go thru 6 rules before we mention this one. Paper towels, napkins, tissue, spray.......WHATEVER just wax on and wax off. When I used the dorm restrooms, you'd a thought I was packing for Cancun. I had big boxes and bags wit me going to the restroom.

#8 Wipe till its white. Thats right, dont get up till you done wiped and its bleeding. In African countries, some of the people eat the right foods to the point where they dont need to clean once they had a bowel movement. They just get up. I dont care if I ate 16 Squash and 27 Okra's a day, Im a wipe mines down, ya hear me. Sike naw, clean yourself though. Cause if you go back to your desk and your anal area is feeling like a swamp, you might just have to GO BACK to the restroom.

Sidebar: Fellas, if you married and your wife washes your drawls, dont throw them dirttrack drawls in the laundry. If you caught some of that swamp action earlier in the day, just tell her "Honey I got this load"

#9 Wash your hands. Its just the right thing to do. Ive seen people go in a stall, NO wipe down, no the do and walk straight out. I mean first off, you aint even wipe the stool before you sat yout tater on it. Dont yall watch BET? I know I told yall not to watch it a few weeks a go but for GOD's sake, RAP IT UP! Secondly you walk right out and touched the door. Now let me tell yall something. AINT NO USE IN YOU WASHING YOUR HANDS, THROWING THE TOWEL AWAY and THEN TOUCHING THE DOOR. Cause somebody done did the "no wipe no wash" and touched that door and they just erased your whole reason for washing. Just wash your hands, grab a towel and use the towel to open the door. Sorta like opening the oven. Then when you get out the door, put the paper towel in the nearest trash bin.

#10 Act like you aint just dropped a load when you get back to the setting you were in. I know it was times that I been gone so long, my boss think im on a lunch break. If you are at work, go to the snack machine and grab something or come back to your cubicle like you went out of the building for a second and say "Its sure cold outside today". If you in someone else's house just say "You have a nice bathroom, I really like the decorations, I was just in there-a-lookin"

Hey yall, its been fun. Dont try to use none of these rules if im around either. Im a point you out too! "Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"

Interview With Ricardo "Shake em up" Baker
by Salvador Gabor

I recently gotta chance to catch up with one of the major players in the underworld sport of Dice Shooting. This is a sport not shown on ESPN or Comcast Sports or ABC. Its a sport of character, pride, skill and most of all MONEY! This game has been played for decades by drug dealers, pushers, pimps and local neighborhood thoroughbreds that are respected on a citywide and nationwide level.
Ricardo Baker happens to be a top notch "shaker" in this game. "Shake em up" or "Shake em" has been involved in Dice Shooting for quite some time. From the age of 7, back when he was the look out for Police and all the way up to now at 23 where he "Kings" the dice games by when hundreds and thousands of dollars Ricardo has risen up the ranks to be the most deadly man with two to three dice in his hand in all of Uptown D.C and parts of Southwest D.C.

Salvador Gabor: Rick, its good to see you man

Ricardo Baker: Aww man same here, last time I saw ya, you almost knocked over the pile of money I had on the sidewalk

SG: yeah I was going in the store to get some pecan swirls. I aint mean to step over yall game

RB: (Laughs) Yeah I get them pecan swirls sometimes when I know Im a be out slangin these rocks real late.

SG: So first off, how's the arm doing? I heard you had a lil elbow trouble

RB: Its nothing! Doctor said I tore some ligaments in my elbow shooting all them dice. I may need "Tommy John's" Surgery so I can get the "spin" back on my shot. Nahmean! Its nothing though, Still out chere taking all these niggas' money

SG: Ok thats good to here. Whats up for the new Dice "Season"

RB: Manyeah, the weather is breaking so all the players gonna be out, ready to lose that ink! Im taking all money, chains, cars and other valuables. Whatever you wanna put up. 7-11 BABY

SG: You must not lose alot

RB: The nigga wit da money never loses. If you start off wit more money, you should always win. I never come wit less that $5,000. Bet a Thou, Shoot a Thou! How you love dat!

SG: Its been rumored that you are a target for a robbery?

RB: You know Sal, its funny. Thats kinda how I got this elbow injury. Last season I had to knock a nigga out for reaching for his waist. That punch did something to my elbow and HIS JAW TOO. Its a lot of cowards out here. If you bet and you lose, YOU LOSE. And all these sidebetting dudes........they wanna jump in and hop on they man's and em.........I got something for that. Gimme ALL dat money!

SG: You've taken your game nationwide

RB: yeah yeah, All-Star Game in L.A. last week, came home with $10 G's...... NOTHING ......its NOTHING. I was da nigga throwing money in the air down Miami last memorial day, taking $2,000 sidebets. For real man, Im real wit these dice mayne! Had all them pimps and hustlers basically paying for my trip.

SG: Many have said that craps and cee-lo are games full of luck?

RB: Its only two things that you'll be lucky for............1) Lucky to have cab money when I buss your pockets and 2) Lucky I dont make you go to the ATM

SG: In most hoods its customary that you give back some of the money you won if you "break" the game

RB: I mean if da dude is from my hood, YEAH..........but if I dont know da dude im like "get out here doggie" I might give em a "pound" or dap em. "Nice try baby" but you gets no love

SG: Your favorite "Arena" to shoot in

RB: Its a tie, I gotta say 14th & Belmont also Benning Rd. and Minnesota Ave. Belmont because of the crowd. I rise to the occasion, ya know! And over on Benning Rd. cause the dice bounce off the wall outside the carryout a lil better than anywhere else. Kinda like basketball when the rims aint too tight and not too loose.

SG: Have you been training for the season?

RB: oh yeah, BIG Remy bottles, Hydro, a couple of 40's. You always gotta test your stamina and balance. If I can stand up straight after 2 J's of Dro to the head and a 40 then I KNOW I can squat for 4 hours and make a quick $5 G's.

SG: Any words for all the fans who come out to see you play in the summer

RB: Two Words.........GET ME. I need my money, nobody owes me. You know why, cause you dont leave until you pay me. Aint nothing else to say, put your money on the ground and "shake em up"

Friday, February 20, 2004

"Questions in 2004"
by Salvador Gabor

I had a friend come home from being incarcerated a few months ago. He spent SEVEN years in prison. SEVEN years!!! He left in '96 and came home late in '03. That seven year period by far has been the biggest seven-year period for technology and growth that we've ever seen. The internet, CD Players, DVD Players, TV's in cars, Cell Phones, Two-way pagers, lets see, what else?? know.......The "Cha Cha Slide". I mean I thought I'd never see a time where you'd go to a party for a 50 year old and not hear the Electric Slide....... "Good miss molly, she sure got the boogie!!!!!" But seriously I thought to myself, what questions/thoughts would I have if I came home from jail and I'd been in for 7-10 years maybe 15-20 years?

* Man, I guess this Georgetown Hoyas Starter Jacket aint gonna get me the girls no more huh?

* Should I cut my Jheri Curl and start over or should I just go head and cornrow them joants?

* How come Im the only one wit white dress shoes and chinese collared shirts?

* All these girls cutting they hair off! What happened to the "French Rolls" and the fingerwaves in the front?

* Why are dem boys on TV wearing them silver chains and drinking that champagne thats wrapped up like butterscotch candy?

* Hey MA!...... MAMMA! Where are my Beta Tapes? Its 5' Oclock and its Saturday, I gotta tape "Small Wonder"..... I already missed "Fall Guy"

* Now the last time I came to NY, them two big buildings was RIGHT HERE? I know I aint trippin???? I sware they was!!!

* Hey why do Big Mamma got them big "Kool Moe Dee" sunglasses on?

* George Foreman is cooking now?

* We used to stand IN a line to pay a bill now yall ONline?

* Yeah I checked into the hotel but they aint give me no key? What im 'posed to do with this card?

* I need your address so I can send you an invite to my party. So tell me what street your email is on again?

* Why Hulk Hogan dont wear the yellow shorts no more?

* Rudy from the "Cosby Show"? Punky Brewster? Samantha from "Who's the Boss" ?? They have sure nuff grown up?

* Say it aint so, the lil girl from "Family Matters" is doing freak movies?????? What kinda world have yall been living in?

* "Uncle Phil" and "Carl Winslow" are gay?

* Now I know granddaddy aint cutting grass in my Huarache's????? Mamma tell poppa them my good Nike's.

* Man JOE GIBBS been coaching for a long time, he should go head and retire?

* Hold on? Who is the chinese dude acting like he Michael Jackson?

* Well at least yall still wearing Jordan's, Polo Shirts, Puma's, Converse, Izod shirts, Guess Jeans, Strap Hats and listening to LL Cool J. I just wanna know why are these jeans called "Diesel" on the shelf where I used to by my Corniche's?

* They done closed Cavalier's???? Say it aint so!!! THAT WAS MY JOANT RIGHT THERE. Now where a brother gonna find a Olive Green Suit??????

Thursday, February 19, 2004

Recap of the 2004 Negro Consortium
Gartrelle W. Sexton, Esquire

The Negressional Black Caucus Announced.........
Effective immediately:

To all Black women, nurses, ladies from Baltimore and St. Louis especially: red, blue, and/or yellow streaks in your hair are prohibited, specifically if you have braids. Black or brown, stay true.

To Black men: Driving an Escalade, Lexus, Benz or the like is prohibited if you still live with your mama. Get up, get out, get your own.

To Black men & women: Asian character tattoos are prohibited. You don't even know what it means, but it looks nice. Sum dum gal.

To Black men and women: The term "My baby daddy/mama" is prohibited if your child is more than 2 years old. Actually, the terms are banned outright. Doesn't "My child's mother/father" sound much better? Either get married or get your $350 together.

To Black parents: Your children are prohibited from having every pair of Jordans or a Playstation 2 before they can read.

To all Black people: Do not go to the movies to see Soul Plane! C'mon my people, a ghetto version of Airplane? An airplane with hydraulics and spinners? We can do better than that. Soul Plane has earned the first of many Coon Image Awards for 2004. (Edit: Snoop @ the Grammy's was the first recipient)

(This also goes for movies like Malibu's Most Wanted, My Baby's Daddy and Bringing Down The House. Movies like this are the reason why I only went to the movies ONE time in all of 2003.)

Special Section: Black Pass Revocation- Justin Timberlake who was mistakenly given a pass in the first place, has officially had his current membership revoked. It was revoked, not for pulling Janet's tig ol bitty out, but for turning his back on Janet and acting like he is some innocent choir boy and he had no idea of what was gonna go down.

"This Moment in Nigga History"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

On this day we would like to look at an artist in the Nigga World. Known for his stints on Soul Train,
Solid Gold, and Live at the Legends, and the Quonset Connection. Breaker Johnson, an A-1 dance machine. Known for his pop-locking throughout the city, point blank...this nigga could dance!

Breaker was known to put the funky in the "funky chicken", the goose in "loose goose", and the
sourkrout in the cabbage-patch. Once a backup dancerfor Rick James, Breaker Johnson won Metro fame for outdancing a plenty of niggas throughout the DC Dance Circuit. On Thursdays the Circuit would hold a "Show" at Metro Center, right by the Hecht's entrance. Breaker Johnson took on "The Snake" in a welterweight matchup. The two put on a variety of moves, from "The Snake"'s Swinging Gate and his Chimmney Sweep, to Breaker's Carry-Out and the Pocketknife.

This was a heated "Show" it had been publicized for 3 Thursdays, The Snake vs Breaker was all you heard
around the city, the pressure surrounding the event caused Metro to make onlookers pay to see the event
(i.e. go thru the turnstiles to watch it). Breaker found himself losing after "The Snake" performed the
rarely seen "Sweet Potato" followed by the "Buick Hump" (later named the Snake then evolved into the
Millipeede). This forced Breaker to go into his bag of tricks, pulling out the Pocketknife, and jumping
right into the "Mayor-Barry" the crowd went wild and crowned the new Welterweight Champion of the DC Dance Circuit.

Breaker Johnson also gained fame taking on heavyweight contedenders, such as Fat Rodney, and Sumo-Ty. He also gained fame in the bad ice-storm of '78 when Breaker did the backslide down Lincoln Road covered in ice. Breaker Johnson is rumored to be one of the founding fathers of the "hee haw", and was the reigning Hee Haw Champion from 1987-1993, when he failed to comply with the JYB and defend his title out of town. Today we salute Breaker Johnson a "Nigga in the Streets".

And Finally.......

by Salvador Gabor

* TAY Jewelers is having a Presidents' Day Sale. 50% off on all Rubberbands, Keychains and Nike Shox Wristbands. TAY Jewelers located on Georgia and Euclid Sts., N.W. has provided the finest in "urban" jewelry since 1993. For more info on the sale please call Dionte Shackleford at (202) 829-8899

* reported this morning that the weekly dice game on 145th & Lennox Ave. in Harlem was robbed last night. Chester Cunningham, also know "Bay" was on pace to break the all-time Cee-Lo record for money made in an hour time period held by "Lil Bag Up" from Dade County, Florida. "Bay" was $25 away from making $10,000 in between the hour of 12:00 A.M. and 1:00 A.M. when the robbery occured. There are no leads to any clues of who the suspects may be.

* The 13th Annual "Father and Son with a Gun" Challenge will be held this Sunday February 22, 2004 at the Good Hope Road Sportatorium in S.E. Washington D.C.. The event will be hosted by the good brothers from over on 36th & Minnesota. A representative from the organization told me that "you can only buy tickets AT THE DOOR, Nothing in advance champ.......I dont know them niggas, and they dont know me"

For ad space on the Salvador Gabor Project, please contact Decharles Taylor at 301-455-3534. YES this is the same number as Ethel Womack who is in charge of all Bus Convoys. Ethel and DeCharles are on the same T-Mobile plan. Cant we all just ROLLOVER???

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Music News
by Salvador Gabor

Buckwheat Zydeco released his album "Down Home Live" yesterday. Buckwheat, born Stanley Dural jr., was born in Lafeyette, LA and his new album reflects his journeys across the world and the steps he takes to going back home. Throughout his 20 years of performing, recording and touring, Buckwheat has seen many sights and throughout that tenure he never forgot about home.

The first single, "Come on in this here kitchen" is a song that reflects his love for the kitchen which is a staple of African-American socialism in this south. While frying fatback meat and stewing hogmaws, many convos have been brought about in the kitchen. A video was scheduled to be shot for this single but the old house in Lafeyette that Buck grew up in wasnt sturdy enough for the bulk of workers needed for the video shoot. Also Buck's uncle "Uncle Toolie" wouldnt move outta the back room for the 2 or 3 days needed to set up cameras and shoot the video.

After the first single fans can look forward to other singles such as "Drink up, Be merry" featuring Rick James, "In my Jean outfit" and "According to my Accordian". This is another supreme album for Buck and proves more and more that Malaco Records is on the cutting edge of the Music industry

Local News
by Salvador Gabor

"Stocky Tim" and "Black Jesse" from the Savannah Terrace Mob were arrested yesterday. These two are being linked to the Citywide "Numbers" ring which is illegal due to the strict laws in Washington D.C.. "Stocky Tim" was arrested when sources close to him revealed to 8th District Police that "Stocky T" (as he is known in the streets) took bets on Special Olympics races. "Stocky T" was said to have put fear in the hearts of the racers and so much so that at the start of one race, one participant did not move.

"Black Jesse" on the other hand was arrested when a story was leaked that he took bets on 10 and Under Girls Basketball games, Freshman and Junior Varsity High School Lacrosse games and the odds on whether or not Bryant Gumbel would win a "Black People's Show" Award which will be held in May at the Martin Luther King Jr. Ave Civic Center in Washington, D.C.

Details have not be released on the arraignment of these two suspects but word is that their mommas are putting together a bake sale to get some monies for their sons to be released on bail.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

"Success Tip"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

"Most of us have far more courage than Bravery ever
--Don-Don Stringfellow--

Today's niggas know not what courage is, alot of what
they exude is false trepedations of fixed notions on
being king thru urban survival. here is what u can do
to build Courage.

Call that nigga Courage from time to time, he aint
doing nothing but fighting Scared.

Success aint always with Courage, i mean them niggas
hang out, but Success sometimes hangs with Envy, and
Courage be with Pride.

Criticism is that evil brawd trying to break down
Courage, she is somewhat skitzo and goes by
Constructive Criticism.

Courage does help with goal setting, he can sometimes
lead u to Passion, we know how fine she is.

Goal setting can be attained by looking for thine

by Salvador Gabor

"DC: The Innercity vs. the Enter City"

I was having a convo wit my man Rome (Jerome Baker ) about DC this past weekend. We talked about the in's and out's of DC and the different perceptions of the city. Being as though he is from Arizona, I tried to enlighten him on the "real" D.C. Through our talks we discussed the different parts that make up D.C. and why D.C. is so misunderstood. I came up with the conclusion that essentially this city is a battle. A battle between the Innercity and the "Enter City".

The Innercity. What is the innercity? The innercity is full of pride, history and nostalgia. Along with those positive notes comes the notorious history of this city and its ties to narcotics, violence and poverty. The city where talented people would rather sit on the sidelines and say "I coulda/woulda this and that" rather than pursuing dreams. The city where schools have turned into gun ranges. The city where chicken wings are so big that you often wonder are they on steroids. Oh yeah dont forget the Mambo Sauce. The city where Chuck Brown NOT James Brown is the Godfather. A city that has bright spots but yet there is much work to be done.

The "Enter City". I call D.C. the "enter city" because many people enter this city with dreams of "setting up shop" and becoming successful here. You may be a college graduate or just looking for a change of pace and you can move to D.C. This city is not too fast and not too slow. In the early 80's many drug dealers from northern cities came here to this city to make money. D.C. was a goldmine for hustlers. Nowadays hustlers such as party promoters, corporate workers and young people in general see D.C. as their goldmine. This is cool. It's ok to come here and make a honest living. If out of towners make money here off of us and we dont take initiative to be the breadmakers then that's ok. All I ask is that people entering the city respect the city. In my convo wit 'Rome I saw that he was genuinely interested in knowing about this city. Which is rare. Most people come here for about 5 years, make all the money they can make, party and club and tear up this city then move on to another city.

I really feel that this city is in the midst of a major shift. Just look around at the new buildings and the political face of this city. Its not the same D.C. that had Marion Barry, RFK Stadium and the original Convention Center. The strangest thing about this new "movement" is that as this process of shifting takes place, the main people that will be left behind are the "true" citizens of this city.

Monday, February 16, 2004

Sal's Corner
"Using Valid Time during Valentine's"

First off, its Valentine's not ValenTIMES. Onward. I spent alot of time out of the house this weekend just chilling and observing the holiday weekend and how people took on the weekend. I was a bit disappointed. Disgusted is much much too harsh of a word but disappointed should so. My disappointment came from several ideas that we as people have about Valentine's Day and their responses to these ideas. As usual, Sal's Corner is about taking a serious matter, looking at it from a lighter viewpoint yet trying our best to come up with answers to these serious matters.

* I have a problem with people who have a problem with Valentine's Day. I went to a sporting event on Saturday evening and I saw 2-3 people wearing "F*CK Valentine's Day" shirts???? Are you really that adamant about showing people that you are a LOSER!?!? You dont have a date and/or you spent $300 of your money on someone and your you just gonna put yourself on BLAST! One rule I have: Dont tell EVERYONE about what's going on in your "love life". Only tell people who can help you progress with love. Wearing a shirt that displays a negative attitude towards a holiday which encourages spreading love is not what's up. God is love, so what does your shirt say about him?

* Fellas, stop acting like you really dont feel like doing nothing for Valentine's Day. You dont have to shoot me up.....really...... you dont. "Yeah man....I might get slim a lil something but I dont know???" Come on dog, save the ducktales for disney. Either you're getting her something or you're not.

* Females, why do you have to walk around the mall with you Valentine's gifts??? I dont understand that. I saw that this year and a few years before and it puzzles me?? If you AND your boyfriend are in the mall at the same time for him to give you a gift and he didnt come with you to the mall.............then there is much too much money being spent in that relationship. You should never just UP and see your boyfriend in the mall. Even if you DO see him, he gives you the gift, take it to the car.

The following are the TWO main problems with the way in which we celebrate Valentine's Day:

* Females, your competitive spirit sometimes clouds up a good day meant for good deeds. Females often time judge each other on the presence of or lack of a Valentine's gift. Women who have a Valentine, flaunt and brag about what they got and they feel that this physical gift completes them. Women who dont have a Valentine feel the need to feel bad. If you dont have a Valentine, someone is not on their job. Whether it be you or the prospective male. If you walk around with a mean look all day and no one approaches you, then you have a reason to have that attitude slap you in the face when you come up empty on Valentine' s Day. If you have a male in your life that isnt doing right, then move on. He's not on his job. Him getting you a gift doesnt say that he's on his job. Alot of women are full of flowers on Saturday and then full of ice on Sunday cause he's hitting you.

* Fellas, money doesnt get you to a woman's heart. Its the thought that counts. Time taken out to plan something, or going beyond her expectations of you makes the holiday that much more special. Valentine's might mean you cleaning her house, cooking her a meal or maybe giving one of her family members a gift to show that this relationship has longevity and that loving her in the long run involves accepting her family as yours.

In conclusion, look at what Valentine's Day really is. Its the reenactment of what St. Valentine did throughout his community. He gave gifts of Love to those around him. Valentine's Day is not about giving a girlfriend/wife a gift. I've heard the St. Valentine's story a million times and never did I hear a reference to him and a girlfriend of his. So if you dont have a girlfriend/boyfriend, it doesnt mean that you dont have a Valentine. Let's take it back to giving love........genuine love and not some bear in a plastic box. Plus fellas, its a leap year.............that means its Sadie Hawkins, the ladies were supposed to get US gifts this year!!!! "Lord Willin, Rome Feelin"

Friday, February 13, 2004

"This Moment in Nigga History"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr

Today we take a peek into the Nigga Community a look at Clyde "Toothpick" Boodram, a scholar, and somewhat of a Renaissance Man. Boodram, affectionately nicknamed Toothpick throughout the Shaw community for having a toothpick in his mouth, and our behind his ear, has one of the highest street-aptitude test scores this side Detroit. It is said that Toothpick coined the phrase "he got stole" when Breaker Johnson got punched in the face after the 1970 Soul Train tryouts. Toothpick said that punch stole his manhood, and his dancemoves.

Toothpick was heralded as a street genious way back in 1962 where he forecasted in his almanac, "Use Me When the Plate is Clean", that heroin would be phased out very soon. Others scoffed at this fact, but sure enough crack rolled right in. He has also forecasted the number of liquor store robberies for the next ten years. Bass should endure only 5 over this time span,
if any of you were wondering.

Toothpicks forecasts were a marvel in themselves but the manner in which the information was presented absolutely damn-fabulous. For example, his forecast of the usage of a third dice stupified many of the games' greats, such as Denny "Denner Roll" Rowe. Here is a passage regarding this. "You better watch out, big money niggas they gonna put your lights out, bring a third dice to the game, that Denner Roll will never be the same".

Here is a passage from "Use Me When the Plate is Clean", on teenage pregnancy. "Hot pants will be the reason for a knocked up season, all them tight pants dont let the stuff do no breathin, they better take that chill pill because all these niggas are out for rabbit hunting season"

"im just the nigga in the seatbelt"
--Reggie Dinkins, Jr.--

by Salvador Gabor

* The 135th Annual Crenshaw High School "National HONOR Society" inductions will be held on Tuesday, February 17, 2004. This aint no Honor for grades. This is HONOR in these streets. HONOR dealing with how many niggas fear you and are willing to let you go in their pockets and/or take a portion of their crack sales. The criteria for entering this society is maintaining a 3.5 NPA. (Nigga Punked Average per semester).

* Dont forget about that bus trip to Fayetteville, NC. For more info contact Ethel Womack at 301-455-3534

* Tickets for the upcoming Metropolitan Dodgeball Association season go on sale next week. Please call 202-438-7676. Ask for Romell Cunningham but, its NOT his phone. Pierre or Donte will probably answer the phone. If they offer you some weed, thats up to your discretion but ask for the tickets. Also that phone is a Nextel so it might not work if they are riding through Southeast.

Thursday, February 12, 2004

Today's News
By Salvador Gabor

Cable television juggernaut, Comcast Corp. made a bid at purchasing The Walt Disney Co. This possible merger could create the largest media conglomerate. With this move in the making, Michael Eisner, the chief of Walt Disney could be on his way out after 20 years of service. The bid has been valued at $54 billion. Reports are that the bid may not be enough. In the words of your average street dweller...."They dealing wit a whole lotta ink!". Disney is now evaluating the bid and will hold their annual shareholders' meeting on March 3, 2004 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Comcast is not new to major mergers. In November 2002, the cable company merged with AT&T and became the country's largest cable TV company. Direct competitor, Time Warner reported $39.6 billion in revenues last year and with this current bid, Comcast looks to surpass that amount. Together, Disney and Comcast reported a combined amount of $45 billion in revenues in that same time period.

Hip-Hop mogul, Russell Simmons made an appearance on "60 Minutes II" yesterday. In the interview with Charlie Rose, Simmons discusses his feelings on the state of hip-hop, marketing schemes with underlying hip-hop tones and how the "White Man" is responsible for his success.
In the interview, Rose reported that Simmons' empire, which includes Phat Farm, Def Jam Recording and Baby Phat bring in sales at over $500 Million a year. Ideas such as the "Phat Phone" and the pre-paid debit card for underprivileged citizens with bad credit have kept Simmons on the cutting edge of business. Simmons blamed the "White Man" for the development of his empire. Stating that because predominantly White Businesses were foolish enough to overlook Hip-Hop as a marketing tool and the fact that they wouldnt invest in the hip hop industry, paved the way for him to come in and takeover the industry.

Simmons has developed relationships with other powerful business men. Sean "P. Diddy" Combs also appeared on the segment and revealed that he mocks the moves of Simmons. He has mocked Simmons by owning his own record label, clothing line, house in the "Hamptons" and even being involved with a former model as is Simmons, who is married to his business partner, Kimora Lee Simmons. Simmons is also very good friends with Donald Trump. In a recent magazine article, Simmons was quoted as saying "He's My Nigga!" when asked about his 10-year friendship with Trump. Trump did not initally understand this "compliment" but Simmons explained that "He's My Nigga" is the BEST compliment a person could get.
On the issue of violent lyrics, Rose pointed to a song by rapper 50 Cent as an example of the day-to-day violence that we hear in Hip-Hop music. Simmons responded by saying that rappers like 50 Cent are products of violence, therefore their music reflects those circumstances. Simmons also stated that if it were not or these rappers, the problems of violence, drug use and poverty would not be addressed. Simmons feels that these issues are not important to the powers that be. Rose accused 50 Cent and other notable rappers of worshipping guns and gun violence. Simmons responded by saying "George Bush is a worshipper of guns. These rappers only imitate this 'Gangsta' Government".

And now............

"This Day in Nigga History"
by Salvador Gabor

This Day in Nigga History is brought to you by the Department of Broke Down Motor Vehicles. Today in 1991, Lativo Robinson, a Washington D.C. Native changed the face of television as we know it. Lativo was a funny guy. Growing up east of the Potomac River humor was the only way to keep a nigga from taking your Eddie Bauer. Shoot, the Condon Terrace niggas aint play....But back to this here moment, Lil Lativo used to make EVERYBODY laugh. He would reenact TV shows, Radio Commercials and domestic violence scenes that took place in the "terrace". Tivo made you wish you saw the show or better yet you didnt NEED to see the show cause he was IT. Tivo angered his father with these antics. Tivo's father, Cleveland would come in late from work and was set to watch the game on tape that his wife Vanessa had taped for him to see when he got off of work. But Tivo would spoil it. He'd reenact every move that Sedale Threat, Chris Mullin and Ledell Eackles would make. He would tell the score and just spoil the occassion for his pops.

When Tivo turned 18 in 1991, Cleveland Robinson put Lativo out. He had become a nuisance. When he began reenacting MC Hammer's "Have you seen her" on request for his cousins, Cleveland had enough! Lativo was homeless and needed money. He made some change reenacting show, games and commercials in households of the Condon Terrace residents. If you went to the bathroom and missed a dunk, just call Tivo. If you wanted to see "in Living Color" just ONE more time that night, just call Tivo. If you wanted to see Arsenio Hall's episode with Eddie Murphy (even though he was a guest EVERY other week), just call Tivo. Tivo would pop up in the living room and make you think he was actually on the show.

Tivo's reenactment career came to a halt when his buddy "Wild Wayne" wanted him to reenact a scene from a "freak" movie he had rented. Tivo said "I aint into that kinda stuff, plus I dont even like white girls.....even if I did, when's the last time you saw one walking around Condon Terrace WAYNE!!!" Tivo gave up reenacting and just bought a BetaMax and taped his favorite shows. This way he could watch everything over and over and since BetaMax was outdated no one else could borrow his tapes. Even though Tivo stopped replaying scenes from television some inventor caught word of Tivo's actions and came up with the idea of live replay feeds on television. For more info go to

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

"This Moment in Nigga History"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

Today's Spotlight in Nigganess brings us to the world of cooking. Today we spotlight the head chef, and only "chef" at the New York Ave Grill, Marvel "The Taste" Stuart. Known as Taste in the urban cooking circles, The Taste has spent many years preparing sintilating dishes and cuisines throughout the Washington DC area. He has studied under many masters of the cullinary arts, Ben of Bens Chilli Bowl, both Horace and Dickey, and The Head Cafeteria Operator of McKinley Tech aka "The Soupmaster".

The Taste learned many cooking techniques from these great cuisinists. The Taste acquired his nickname for his superior tastebuds, he could tell All-Spice from ginger by the crumb of a gingerbread man. He interned at Pepsi when they concocted their new recipe for sweeter coke, in an effort to be different from Coca-Cola. His tastebuds enabled him to tell the difference hence the "Pepsi Taste Test" later changed to the Pepsi Challenge due to some worker's comp litigation.

Oh but the Taste didnt stop there he went on creating many new dishes and fine medleys of spice, sweets and liquor. His chittling-loaf is a holiday favortie. His innovation of the Kale Diet, known in Upper Northeast, this green diet has enabled many people better eating habits. However his finest creation was his SteakadaTaste Sammich. I have cracked into the Taste's Cookbook and discovered the Recipe.

1/2 pound of sliced steak (and or steak'ums)
couple of slices of cheese (Kraft or gubment)
Toppings: lettuce, energy matas, mayo, mustid, ketchup
Potato Bread sub rolls

First marinade the steak in half-a-pint of Remy, sure to seal it upon marination. lace the greens with "greens" and apply the energy matas (tomatoes preserved in Gin for freshness), and the toppings.

Steakada Taste $18

by Salvador Gabor

In this year of 2004, we embark upon a crucial point in our society. This year's election maybe the turning point in our country as we know it. I was watching an ad for voting this morning. The ad talks about how 18 Million young voters went to the polls last year. The margin of the 2000 election was 500,000. And the ad goes on to pose a question: What if we get 20 Million young voters to exercise their right this year?

2 Million more votes huh? Its a shot. Definitely a shot. The problem is that its more than a vote. I use to wonder why people were so adamant towards us as young people to vote. I always felt that there is no "RIGHT" candidate. In my opinion, a president sees and knows too much negativity to be a "GOOD" candidate. Most presidents who have stood up for the "RIGHT" cause were assassinated. I always felt that "friends" of the administration had their hands in the pockets of presidents and that the world is actually ran by those powerful "friends". I've had many bad perceptions of politicians and thats lead me not to vote.

But the right to vote is beyond going in a booth and pulling down a lever. As I get older I realize that our ancestors fought for the right to vote BUT also the right to have a sayso in this country. See it's much more than one Tuesday in November. My vote begins to count when I go to town meetings and I elect the right city council members or even attempt to make a run at a local office. Our right to vote deals with the idea that even if our prospect is not chosen, the candidate that is elected will fully know that his opponents will STILL be in his/her face. We have to let the politicians know that the war is not won on election night. It's just begun. You dont have to stop coming to our hoods and shaking hands NOW. CONTINUE to do so. Let them know that you will see my face more and more even if I have to come and see YOU. You may have won the election but best to believe you will have a hard time if you dont answer to us as a people.

This year is the election year that we make the election not just a day's worth of time but 4 years worth of time. Its not about choosing the right person, its about working to ensure that throughout the 4 years that follow, no matter WHO wins, that your views and needs are expressed and addressed in the proper fashion.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

"This Moment in Nigga History"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

Today we salute a inniggavator in Black Fortune. A reoccuring figure in many Black Magazines such as "Bidness Sense", "Somebody Special", and "Corner Banking". Today our business spotlight focuses on Winston "Buck" Wheatley. Known as Buck for his tremendous earning potential over the course of 3decades.

"Buck" Wheatley has many baby franchises like his 49% share of Winky Dinky Dogs, his Schlitz Vending Machines, and his patented spray-on White Walls kit. However Buck's cash cow is a ski resort in Augusta, GA. Now many people questioned this tactic, a ski resort in Georgia, Augusta of all places. His own momma, Billie Jean Wheatley was quoted "that nigga is ill, skiing in the Gus, i'd rather shuck corn in the dark".

Despite the numerous ney-sayers, Buck went on about the business of bidness. He constructing this ski resort. It was an awesome sight to behold, fabulous sha-lays, wonderful lodges, he even got a few restaurants to set up shop on the resort. There is a Port Arthur's, a Really-Dough Doughnut Shop and a Hopeland's. The resort had tremendous rolling hills perfect for skiing, but no snow, and no cold weather.

This did not stop Buck. He had a small plastic company called Glockaware. He had plenty of snowblowers which only produced water. Buck had his GlockaWare creat giant 50-foot slides and he used to the snow-blowers to create the first Black Ski Resort "Nigga Slides". Now many people thought "Nigga Slides" wasnt actually a Ski Resort but more like a water park. But Ski-Resorts are taxed less than Water-Parks, because niggas dont ski, but love to swim. His bidness sense help him keep his business' cents.

Nigga Slides is one of the best vacation spots in the South. Many people come from far and wide to go to Nigga Slides. The "Big Slide" is the main attraction, but if Dougie dont turn on the water you might wind up in traction.

Monday, February 09, 2004

Sal's Corner
"Where you WONT find your mate"

It is t-minus 5 days till Valentine's Day. This will be an eerie week for many. This is the week that you find out whats really going on with the one you like/love. I try to focus on the humor of male/female relationships cause thats exactly what it is.......FUNNY. People kill me with their relationship problems or what they THINK are problems. Just be you and trust that your partner and doing whats best for them and it'll be aight. But for those who are single and looking, let me spare you some time wasted.

*Fellas, you will NOT find your wife/future mate at the movies. If she at the movies, she's bunned up wit her boo. If she is mobbed up with her homegirls, she is not cool. Cut and straight to the point. Females worthy of your time go to the movies with guys or they wait for the DVD. PERIOD. EVEN if a girl DID go without a date, she's NOT going to the "HOT SPOT" theatres. Fellas we like to be seen when we wit da homies, females dont. If a group of females go to the movies, they are gonna keep it very low-key. So they got to a theatre where they dont even show alot of black movies. So if you got to see Barbershop or the next "2 can play that Best Man game of Delivering us from Eva" movie just go for the laughs and not for the ladies.

*Ladies, you will NOT find you husband/future mate at church. YES this is a shocker. Cause we all say the good men are in church. Grandma been trying to get you to drop that boy that hangs on the southside for 2 years and come on to church and meet Deacon Bailey's son. Well guess what........I go to church EVERY sunday and when I check my voicemail all I have is a bunch of calls from my homies! I dont have women banging my door down. See the reason why you wont find em in church is because yall are too picky. Let me say "SIKE" before I get a barrage of emails. But SERIOUSLY, dont go to church looking for a man and for God's sake stop praying for a man. Yall taking up all of God's time with these "I need a good man" prayers. Then that makes me gotta wait in line for my more important "Wuz up wit helpin me BLOW UP when you get a chance GOD" Prayers. God said in is word he would provide a man for you. "It is not good for man to be alone". So that means just get yourself right and he will come.

*Fellas, you will NOT find you wife/future mate at the club! AWW man I mean if I could just get that through the heads of some of yall dudes, my purpose for life would be complete. I wont even speak on this any further.

Sidetip: Ladies you MIGHT just find your husband in the club though. Sounds strange cause I JUST said fellas wont find their wife there but if you look cute and you draw enough attention, you might reel in a Washington Redskin or a Wizard. Lord knows their minds aint on the sport they play so its a shot.

*Ladies, you will NOT find your husband in the STREET! He might be your boyfriend in the street but thats about it. Let me restate that.......Ladies you SHOULDNT find your husband in the street. But yall love them hustlers. Aint nothing like holding crack in a Dooney & Burke bag for your man, now is it? Aint nothing like a 1/8 of a "key" taped to your ribs on a greyhound bus headed to Raleigh, NC now is it? I know guys who hang in the street and "do their thing" but most of them arent married and dont wanna get married till they finish in the street. Cause its immature to be honest. You have no benefits, no days off, and no way off gaining ownership of assets such as property and vehicles. I know you get tired of putting all his motorcycles and 4-wheelers in your name dont you?

*Ladies AND Gentlemen (clearing my throat), you will NOT (I repeat), you will NOT find your mate on the internet!!! Now I admit, you MIGHT can find one on there cause one of my dearest relatives found her husband on there but thats ONCE in a MILLION! Hold up.......Aight let me tell yall a TRUE STORY. Just to prove my point a bit, I will dig into my own life. Im bout to get real personal. I met this girl on a chat line back when I was like 19. (True Story).......Now she was COOLER than COOL. She even went to school wit my first cousin and he said she was cool. We rappin and rappin and rappin. (Did I mention this is TRUE?) Im digging this girl. To the point where I would come in the house and ask moms if SHE called. So one day she really wants to meet me. I say cool beans. She's at work on a saturday so I go drive to her place of employment (This is all fact man). She tells me on the phone "I have braids, and I will have on some old capri pants, I gotta move some stuff today so im looking kinda rough". So im like "cool". I pull up to the job right.....walk in the building. What do I see........A TOUGH female, I mean the TOUGHEST of the TOUGH. Guess what? (True story) She had braids and some old capri's on!!!! Now I dont shoot dice but I thought I had hit my number. (Let me say that again).....I THOUGHT I had hit my number. Im like "Are you blah blah blah?". She says "No im not blah blah blah, but blah blah blah will be right back". I KNEW I shoulda rolled out RIGHT then yall. I couldnt have been TWO tough joants wit braids and old capri's on at the same job on the same day mayne! Yall dont hear me, I shoulda rolled. But the dude stayed. Yeah I did. Waited 10 minutes and there she was. But now I saw her from deep before she saw me or before the tough joant that I met FIRST could point me out. But I stayed yall. Yeah I did. I walked up on her and she wasnt my type. All yall out there who know me know I aint gotta particular type but when my type walk by, yall know my type. Guess What? SHE WASNT IT. We talked for about 10 minutes and I skated. She called a few days later and she knew the deal. She said "I dont think you like what you saw". In my mind I was like "I dont think you will like what I really wanna say". We never talked again. But it was my fault being pressed and jumping the gun.

Sidebar: Shout out to my cousin who COULDA told his boy that she wasnt all that. Whats that about?

My point of this whole thing is to say cant be happy in a relationship until you find happiness in being single. Find happiness in the state that you are in NOW. The singles always wanna be in a relationship, people in relationships always wanna be married, married people wanna get divorced, divorced wanna get married again and if that dont work then ya turn gay. Just love yourself. If aint nobody asked you out, take yo'self out. "Table for 1 please" up in this piece. "Lord Willin, Rome Feelin". Get at me.

And now..........

"This day in Nigga History"
by Salvador Gabor

This day in nigga history is brought to you by Lil Joe's Hog Shack, known for its famous "Scrapple and Batter Bread" sammiches. Hmmmmm GOOD!

On this day in 1985, Louis Alexander Streeter retired from active duty with the National Organization for Grandfathers who Tuck their T-Shirts in their Drawls Association. The NOGTTDA was started in 1940 by Lester Patterson in Greensville, SC. Louis took over the position of president in 1960 when Lester got tired of wearing undershirts altogether and resorted to just wearing a button down with no under garment shirt. As a result, Lester was asked to step down from his position and more importantly he never raised his arms above his head again because he had constant sweat spots under his arms and on his back. His white dress shirts began to look beige because he had no under shirt and he was exposed and forced to leave the organization

At this point Louis was appointed as the Chairman/President of the NOGTTDA. In his 25 years of service he made sure that all members were exposed to the best in brief that had extra elastic to keep their undershirts safely tucked away. He expressed his support for Hanes drawls over Fruit of the Loom in several campaigns. He said "I'd rather where some drawls that Michael Jordan wears than a bunch of FRUITS.....I dont even like FRUIT, if Eveline cooks some squash thats all I needs".

But on this day in 1985, Louis reluctantly retired as Chairman/President of NOGTTDA. At age 81, he had trouble tucking his shirt in his boxers. He invested in undershirts that snap at the testicle area. He was caught wearing these kinds of shirts when he went to the public stall at the DC Dodgeball Championship Finals held in friendly confines of Barry Farms. When he went to the public urinal another NOGTTDA noticed the "all in one snap at the nuts" shirt and reported it to the NOGTTDA Board of Directors. They had a brief conference with Louis and he decided that it was time to call it quits.

Louis only lived for another year and a half but went on to start another club called the Straw Hats, Silk Shirts and Khaki Short Pants Club before he laid his head down for eternal rest. "Lil Joe's Hog Shack" honors Louis Alexander Streeter.

Friday, February 06, 2004

"This Moment in Nigga History"
by Gartrelle W. Sexton, Esquire

Janet's tittay was exposed, big deal. I mean I was happy to see it, been waiting for that since she was Willis' girlfriend on Diff'rent Strokes. But the media is blowing this way of out of proportion. I understand that this was primetime newtork TV and children were watching. It was not the place for Janet to let the world know that she got chromed out tittays sittin' on dubs. But if the media would just shut up about it, then it would just fade away. Now the kids keep hearing about it and seeing the replay on the news. This country is is so phony. We make sex and nudity out to be something bad and something that kids shouldn't be exposed to, but we use sex to sell everything. EVERYTHING. The Europeans got the right idea. Lets just be open and up front with the youth, then sex wouldn't be as big a deal as it is now.

Lets also remember that this is not the first time a little nipplage has been exposed in a public setting. Back in 1803, during haltime at the 23rd Annual Slave Bowl held in Jamestown, VA, a massive tittay was revealed. A 19 year old slave by the name of Jane was on the auction block. Dressed very conseratively, in a long dress and bonnet, Jane was being described by her master Mr. Finderbake as being perfect for niglet bearing due to her wide hips. He also said that she was perfect for a late night trip down to the niggar quarters for some jungle fever loving becasue he had made the trip many times himself. Finderbake made Jane walk across the auction stage, show off her pearly white teeth, and he even smacked her on that tail to show how much jiggle she had back there. He then said to her, "I'm gonna have you naked by the end of this auction." and he then grabbed at her dress and pulled it down showing her supple busom. Jane was sold that day to Mr. Harold Grammy of and set a record for most expensive slave girl ever sold at a whopping $5,000.

So you see, white men degrading Black women in public is nothing new, it been going on for years. Lets hope next year some white man, bends Halle Berry over and smacks her on her butt. Oh wait, it's too late.

Bus Trip Announcement
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

I know many of you need a vacation, picture yourself in Fayetteville 8 days from now laid back eating some greens, and chewing on some fatback, dranking on some ginger iced tea. Sipping on that drink with the toothpick in it. This bus trip includes stops in Mt. Olive, Mt. Airy, Rocky Mount, and cruised control trip around the tip of Durham.

Check out the Bus Schedule and we can all go together.
If you want to make your first installment please contact Ethel Womack 301.455.3534

Thursday, February 05, 2004

"This Moment in Nigga History"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

Today our nigga sports spotlight takes us to an urban hotbed for boxing, Mayfair. The welterweight champeen Lavette Blackman, also known as "LB" because he was the best lb for lb boxer on that side of the city.

Lavette gained neighborhood fame as a 10yr old slap-box phenom in the alleys surrounding Nannie Hellen Burroughs. He once knocked out a 35 yr old Metro Kiosk attendant at Minnesota Ave, as a 6th grader. he took the jacket of then 35 yr old Kiosk Attendant Samuel Williams, and passes thru the gates without farecards. LB also attained neighborhood fame in the boys locker room of Fletcher-Johnson defeating opponents nearly twice his size. He was the Jr. "Go-to-the-Body Champ" by the age of 14.

Lavette attained neighborhood greatness on the corner of Minnesota and Benning in front of the mural. Challenged by an off-duty fed as he was going to the carry-out across the street, Lavette gave Occifer Blache a right hook to the body that really caused for some cleanup of the streets. This punch gave LB a more potent name "Loose Bowels" Lavette "Loose Bowels" Blackman hit Occifer Blache so hard, he browned his drawls and himself right there in front of the mural. 5 o'clock in the ebenin where you gonna be, hopefully not laying in the doo-droppings? This saturday remember to cheer on LB behind the Armory as he takes on Mario Manning from 21st.

Quote of the Day:

"Love is pulling down a side street to let me piss,
knowing that my trigger of human vitality would rather
not wet your car but the brick wall of some alley."

-Darnell "Cadillac" Perry-

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

"This Moment in Nigga History"
-By Gartelle W. Sexton, Esquire-

Eustis P. Malton was working in the same liquor factory where his great uncle Rembert Martin created his famous cognac, when he revolutionized the beer industry forever. Now Eustis being the descendant of his uncle Rembert, was an alcoholic crook too. Eustis would frequently sneak a taste as he worked and would usually take a bottle or two of the company's new beer line home with him. Eustis kept a pistol on his at all times cuz them Eastgate niggas just went like that.

On 2/4/68, Eustis was drinking a few stolen brews with his friend Langley Meade. The two got into an argument about some money that Langley owed Eustis for numerous bets. They bet on a midnight cockfight down at the Benning-Stoddert Rec Center, they bet on a domino game between a blind man and monkey that Eustis stole when the circus was down at the Armory, they even bet on boxing match between the siamese twins that lived on Texas Ave.

The argument got real heated and then Langley stole Eustis in the face and tried to dip out. Never the one to get played, Eustis pulled out his "nistol" and bucked at Langley. His missed, but he hit the brew bottle that Langley was clutching to like he knew that might the last sip of his life. Miraculously, the Langley managed to salvage much of the brew because the bottom half of the bottom was left in tact and when it was safe to stop running, he took a long swig. That swig was a swig like no other. The beer tasted like shit due to the gunpowder, but was much more potent. Langley commensed to get pissy drunk. All he could say was, "Malt made me almost died for this beer, but this sho' is some powerful liquor."

"Malt liquor"-created on 2/4/68 by two dumb niggas arguing over a blind domino game, siamese twins, and two cocks.

This Black History fact was brought to you by St. Ides, Olde English 800, and Steel Reserve.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

"Today's Moment in Nigga History"
by Reggie Dinkins, Jr.

On this day February 3, a colored renown folklore was created, the legend of "Palmer Park Phil". This neighborhood known for dogfights, violence, and good "snow-shovelers" acquired weather-wide fame in the late 1980's. It is around this time of year where people prepare for Valentine's Day, and/or and early spring sale. Penny's has been known to make a few dollars around this time.

Many Palmer Park residents often wondered was winter gone, is spring coming,who smoked my last 3 cigarettes, do i need to save this change for the laundromat, or should i hang my starter-coat out on the line. These kinds of questions circulated through many homes throughout Palmer Park. Never to fear this questions would soon be answered in due time.

Every neighborhood has a local talented "street-person". Many people like to attribute this term with the guy outside of the formerly known DC Live. There are others Charlie of Sheriff Rd, Brookie of 7East, and countless others to say the least, but Phillip Newsome of Palmer Park, aka Palmer-Park-Phil is perhaps one of the most talented.

It all started February 2, 1988, good ole Palmer Park Phil was coming out of the liquor store with a bottle of Martell, his favortie cognac. he enjoyed the spicy taste of this fine street cognac, not to mention he acquired much alley lovin with the Martell. During winter months Phil enjoyed drinking his Martell indoors, in the friendly confines of his grandmothers basement. Now Palmer Park Phil was one of the more collected individuals when enjoying what he called the "Spice of Life" aka the Martell.

Later on that day upon finishing his fine street-cognac ole Palmer Park Phil decided to join the world for some later night corner warmth. As he hit the street he noticed it was quite cold, and his shadow was malignantly shorter than on most nights, at this juncture Phil said to self "damn my shadow looks a lil funny, i could probablly piss my pants and not wet my money". "aw but who cares it will probablly stay so cold i will have iron my underwares". His shadow signified 5 more weeks of winter, and to this day February 2, we check with a weather-wide street person Palmer Park Phil, to find out if we will need our spring jackets or a scarf for the wintery chill.

Monday, February 02, 2004

Sal's Corner

Since we are venturing into Black History Month, its a must that we show both sides of the story. See we as African Americans have accompished alot and we deserve this month. But alot of us still got some NIGGA in us. We rant and rave about discovering the peanut, the street light, and the tootsie roll (no not the candy but the dance!) But I just wanna show yall what NIGGAS do.

Niggas, they are the only people you know..........

*That'll stop eating at a restaurant after getting sick once, but will continue to throw up Remy every weekend

*That'll judge the average female on a tough scale but HIS girl look way worsa than the girl being judged

*That'll have a 2-way pager but no email address

*That'll go to college only to begin his first chapter of thug life

*That'll say they vegetarians but SMOKE all day. Hold up for a second. See let me tell yall something. I dont drink, nor do I smoke. Never have never will. But I eat pork, red meat, beef......whatever! And dudes look at me like "How could you eat that stuff" but they smoke weed??? I been eating swine since I was 1 or 2 years old. If you smoked weed and drank since you was 1 or 2 you'd be DEAD.

Anyway I just wanted to clear a few things up for this Black history month. Look forward to plenty of history moments that you never knew about being displayed here on "The Salvador Gabor Project". Now for our first history moment............

On this day in 1973, H.B. Lanier became the first African-American to star in a predominantly Caucasian sit-com. "Everybody loves Raynard" was a success on public access cable channels in Memphis, Tennessee , Augusta, Georgia , and certain areas in Watts. H.B. played the role of "Raynard", a hard-working janitor at a Jewish Fellowship Hall adopted by a Jewish family at the age of 2. "Raynard" grew up thinking that he was caucasian. He based this on the fact that he knew no blacks and he grew up so poor that he didnt have mirrors. He was also told that his complexion was due to the fact that he stayed on the swings at grandma's house too long and should have went in when the other kids came in. Despite all the misleading falsehoods that were given to "Raynard" on the show he never could figure out why his comb didnt flow through his hair like "Steve" and Bobby's" combs did. He also didnt know why his "brothers" "Steve" and "Bobby" had those kinds of ordinary names and he had a name like "Raynard". The show lasted for 3 years and the final episode took place in 1976 when "Raynard" meet his real mother, "Nilah" and couldnt take the fact that she looked so much like the lady on the cream of wheat box. "Raynard" ran away and was never seen again.

As for H.B. Lanier's career, it never amounted to much. He had a stint as a stunt double for Carl Weathers in the early 80's but got tired of wearing those tight jeans and maintaining that shag.