Friday, January 30, 2004

Dirty White Lines
by Gartelle W. Sexton, Esq.

Yayo, coca, coke, cocaine. This one time ingredient of your favorite cola is making a strong comeback. Maybe it never left. All within the past week, we have seen some celebs get caught up in the justice system becuase of this fine white powder. So we have, Young Turk, Faith Evans and the Godfather of Soul James Brown all "alledgedly" involved in some nonsense this week.

I know James Brown was high when he hit his lady, but he is a old man and bad habits are hard to break. (No excuse though James, don't beat ya lady.)

Now, Faith, darling, sweetie, thickums. Biggie would be so disappointed in you. You got young kids, get it together.

And saving the dumbest for last, Turk. Turk, Turk, Turk. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Nothing else to say really. I mean we knew that the bling bling was just for the videos and that record companies rip artists off, but come on? Shooting two police officers with coke in the apartment? I'll tell Mystikal & C-Murder you want the top bunk.

I'm not even gonna get into Bobby & Whitney.

In light of these events, the President of the DCHU (D.C. Hustler's Union), Dontrell Carter, has issued the following statement:

"Yeah so uhm, we are deeply saddened by this weeks past events. We hope that these families can make it through these trying times and move on with their lives. We understand that the children suffer the most from this, but business must go on because I need a new Escalade and my lady needs a new pair of Gucci loafers. Since the dealers who supplied these celebrities are obviously "hot" right now. We will issuing subsidies to the crack/cokehouses in their local communities. To all hustlers in Atlanta, New Orleans, and South Carolina who are need of some weight and ain't scared to make a OT trip. Come to DC on the corner of 18th & D NE and holla and anybody wearing a black NorthFace jacket. Due to the demand, prices have gone up. However we are offering discounts if you bring us a James Brown Greatest Hits CD, Faiths's 1st CD for my girl, and Young Turk's newest CD (bootleg will suffice). Thanks, and Happy Hustling'.

The DCHU also noted that some of the proceeds from the last 4 keys in this current package will go towards one night of trickin' in Dream Nightclub, an all you can eat dinner at Horn & Horn, and the building fund for the Rayful Edmonds Crackpipe Memorial Museum that is being built on the corner of 7th & Orleans place.

"Have some coke and a smile."